"What if I'm not the superhero?
What if I'm the bad guy?"

When you can live forever, what do you live for?

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Hey...

Really don have to guess liao la... Is like in this short period of time i think the person changed a few times ... but most of the time the same person la... but ya... really don guess liao...

Tell me why is so hard to forget
I am not over it,
Tell me why i can't seem to face the truth,
and i really don noe wad to do

Really really...jus give up...

Thanks la...

Ppl don want to think of this kind of stuff den was like noe that there is no chemistry and chance and stuff like that but he insisted that there will be... I guess FL noes wad i am saying abt... Ya...i am talking abt him putting me and GQ tgt...

I was like nv think abt it liao den was like he kept saying and saying until was like... the same feeling came back again... the emptiness or i should say hollow feeling in the pathetic little heart in me...

Haiz... really don noe when he want to stop his bloody nonscence ...

but i really hate the bloody feeling in there somewhere...

Bonsoir, au revoir...

A brand new week with a brand new start i hope...

Buaiz

Living on this world for almost 18 yrs gradually start to be like a chore for me... Really tired out by alot of stuff...

Do not have the motivation to move on... Really really... suddenly really jus want to cry it out loud with no much consideration for anything at all...

Haiz... Really really... haiz...

Today although lesson was being pushed up and finished much earlier den wad the timetable have planned, but really tired out as i was running about to help kor kor run some errand and stuff den was like aiya... don noe wad to say...

All i can say after so long is really really tired until feel like crying liao... Kor Kor, not that i want to give u that kind of face is jus that i am jus too tired out to do anything liao...Shall not do that the next time ok???Sry Sry...

sometimes is jus hard to give a smile to everyone when i speak when i am really really tired... really really sian...

Yoke Hong start to match make again... Siao one... but too tired and not feeling well so din really bothered to be involve in the conversation and joke itself...

Wondering the streets, in a world underneath it all
Nothing seems to be, nothing tastes as sweet
As what I can't have
Like you and the way that you're twisting your hairround your finger
Tonight I'm not afraid to tell you
What I feel about you.
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
and cannon ball into the water
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
For you I will
For you I will
Forgive me if I stutter
From all of the clutter in my head
Cuz I could fall asleep in those eyes
Like a water bed
Do I seem familiar, i've crossed you in hallwaysa thousand times, no more camouflage
I want to be exposed, and not be afraid to fall.
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
And cannon ball into the water
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
For you I will
You always want what you can't have
But I've got to try
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
For you I will
For you I will
For you I will
For you
If I could dim the lights in the mall
And create a mood I would
Shout out your name so it echos in every room I would
That's what I'd do,
That's what I'd do to get through to you
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
And cannon ball into the water
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
For you I will
You always want what you can't have
But I've got to try
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
For you I will
For you I will
For you I will
For you I will

Jus pray hard that after this week of tiring week, next week will be better cos by then will have finish the project which is like suppose to be due tomorrow but i have yet to complete...

Now is like feeling sick lor... don noe when will get sick like that...Actually get sick also good la... can have a little bit of official rest... hehe...

But nontheless, shall try not to get sick during sch term cos i am going to miss lecture which is kind of unhealthy...

School have been kind of boring since school start.... Nth interesting is motivating me...No eye candy no nth... sian...lol...

And by the way FL, u don have to guess who that guy is liao... I have already forgotten him...hehe...

So in conclusion of this post, school have been totally boring and i am also very tired...

Shall jus stop here and get doing my project :(

This few days really feel very tired...



I also don noe is mentally or physically... but jus too tired to do anything...

Seeing all the things change around me... Don noe if it is good or bad... but is like kind of tired to adapt to changes as well...

Shall jus let the nature take its own course and shall not be too bothered bout wad is going to happen or i think it may happen... But a lesson learn and also to let all of u learn, when things are not going ur way, don be too worried about it, jus take a step back and take a look at the whole picture and situation again and see wad u can do again to let it change its course and go ur way...

Sometimes, those things that u don need to worry about jus to be bothered about it... don make urself so difficult and think over those stuff over and over again... the only thing i can tell u is that u are jus trying to find trouble with urself and you are going in circles and u can nv come out of the situation...

So ya, shall jus end here as i jus got ps by my classmate to do project...
but end off with last note ppl jus work hard and u will get wad u deserve ya :p

Buaiz and love u guys always

So as u see in my title, today is the first day of the semester for poly and also the first day for the entire sch year...

So was like kind of tired in sch today but had some laugh and talk with my classmates... as wad i see... i am not really close to my classmate as i find that for the entire holiday i nv see 90% of my classmate...

But nvm... our laughter is still as loud as b4...hehe

Had like 1 practical lesson b4 lunch and 1 lecture and another practical lesson after lunch...

In conclusion, the most boring lesson of the whole day will indeed be marketing.almost dozed off in marketing's lecture...haiz...

Nvm must buck up and look forward and study :p

Shall end off here to do some printing for my lecture
Au revoir

oh so is like this is my 50th post... Did not expect to go so far also...

Congrats to myself to have survive so long in this world...

I am jus too lame don noe wad to post already...
BUaiz

So was like a love medium last night... intended to slp early but ended up yoke hong needed advise... so was like talk to him till bout 4 plus in the morning but whereby i have to wake up at 7 plus to go for meeting at canberra...

So was like the meeting had to end promptly all thanks to FI Dominic who called Teck Liang whereby he wanted the instructors in npap to be released on time so that they can be at hta by 11.30...

After that we stayed for awhile to discuss about nco camp itself... Den had lunch at sun plaza's kfc den took a bus back to yishun and yq followed me back home... den he left for basketball but i stayed at home to slp... aft i woke up, i found fiona slping next to me...lol... den when i woke up, i went down to mac where gor, alison and fiona was eating mac...

den we decided to get board games and come to my hse to play and talk cock have fun... den was like had alot of fun in monopoly where yq became bankrupt...
After that they went back home...

Haha... can try to have more of this kind of fun even after sch reopen... but i guess most of us will be too busy with sch work...haha... nvm...

Not only so I forget to mention that yoke hong wanted to pair me and gq up... he ask me to consider him la... haha... den was like i knew why he felt that me and gq is compatible... cos i say during the times where yh needed advise on relationship, den me and gq gave him advise as well so i think was like he might feel that we are like same same like that so is like nvm den...

haha...shall sign off...buaiz

was jus trying to forget...but at the wrong time yoke hong talk about all this kind of thing so was like...haiz... nvm...

So was like sian...

nvm... i also speechless now and don noe wad to say here liao... nvm

Buaiz

Have very good motivation today...haha...

See both my sayang and lao gong today rite fiona??? haha

Happy, happy, happy...hehehehehehehehe

now talking to my lao gong... haha... because of yoke hong la...

Den today was really very happy...i jus merely made a comment that i wanted the book den gor gor and da sao bought it for me... oh... soo soo soo happy...will really love the book very very much... hehe...

Haiz... Mr Right... Nvm... But today was really happy to see my eye candy... hehe

Shall sign of here...

Days have passed, and it is so fast that my long holiday is coming to an end and a new semester, a new year is going to start in another 3 days...

I guess i am going to miss the fun and laughter we all had in all the outings and playing around...
so coming to recap of wad i have done in this holiday:

Not long after my exams, i was busy planning and making a lot of last min amendments for annual camp itself... So i suppose in my opinion, the camp came out to be ok... but jus have somethings missing in the camp itself... maybe was not missing some things i should say missing ppl... but is ok... wad passed is passed.

den after was kind of like nua at home... did not do really much... was jus normally going for meetings and trainings if not den nua at home ...

den until the past few weeks den became more active... firstly was labrador park with my sayang and FL...

Den was macritchie with FL and did alot of trekking and alot of stupid stuff and of course met alot of reptiles i should say...

Den was games day and ROD parade, 2 trainings or so for that den was the actual day... it was kind of rush and had some misunderstanding during all the meeting and stuff like that as well...

Den was the amk trip with gor gor, yq and FL... den was cooking at my place and alot of fun and laughter and of course some argument as to how to cook it... But all in all it was still nice and fun...

After all this was our sentosa trip with gor gor, alison(da sao), little bro, FL and yq...
not only that we went to sentosa, we also went to alexander arch...

had plenty of fun and stuff for the past few weeks...

Den was sembawang park... all the walking or i should say blading was a real good time to make myself think and also to forget... I should not force wad cannot be mine and also really i noe that there will definitely be no chance... haiz... nvm... really really shall forget... since i will also get lesser and lesser time to get to see him thats even better for me to forget...

This part of the post is dedicated to FL:

Don have to think so much and doubt on our friendship... although we might have quarrel and had cold war and stuff like that, it was also a good way to let us know each other better... don have to think how long our friendship will last... i believe it is all fated... but no matter how fated it can be, i will make it last as long as possible... if possible forever...u have my promise...

U don need to have alot of frens to show that u are good or popular or wad so ever. U jus need to have really good ones to share ur burden... it will definitely not be a burden for me to share ur feelings with u... i will be more than willing and more than happy that i am able to help u...

so may god jus bless us for our everlasting friendship :p

I am serious, if u still like him i have no comments and i cannot do anything already...

actually everybody also noe u still like him, if for ur character if u don like him u would have jus challenged him back when he send u this type of msg in the afternoon...so u kept asking me wad if u don like him , actually don need say u shld also noe... he is jus trying to use reverse psychology on u so that u will go back to him... so i don have to say much, u go and think it through carefully.

Don jus say that we don understand until we are in ur shoe, actually we do understand, is jus because u are in the situation itself so u don see things as clear as we do. we have analyse through the pros and cons b4 we talk to u... its because u are too stubborn or thick skull when we talk to u, so u kept thinking that we don understand thats why u don listen and take in wad we say...

sometimes u are jus too rush into things and nv think it clearly and analyse b4 doing things.

Thats all i have to say, u can listen and take in wadever my gor talk to u jus now for so long. u can also ignore wadever we have said or wadever is said here. theres no hard and fast rule into doing things, sometimes jus need to think of a win win situation and nth will be a problem. so u can jus either let all the saying go into the sea jus now or u can jus take in slowly and see wad u can do and ask or come to me whenever u need help, my phone and hse will be recieving u anytime u need it...

I will always be there for u and don think that u are bothering me or wad... this is wad frens are for... don think too much...

Shall sign off here...

So for the past few days, my mum was planning on her trip to taiwan and hk and also macau... den we were sitting in Xin Wang after our dinner den they discussed abt where to go and stuff like that while i was sitting there reading my story book...

But as i read the story book, my heart got a sudden feeling. EMPTINESS, don noe why it mus always come back some time or another...

thinking of him again but knowing that he does not know abt it so is kind of sad at the same time jus like how the story goes... haiz... all this time trying to forget as well... all the time had been like that... nv thought too much abt it... sometimes i don think i am asking too much, jus needed someone to be there to lean on when i felt like crying and stuff like that.. but haiz... it will nv happen... nvm shall not drag on it any further and shall not let myself think too much too... No hope no chance... shall go and walk walk and try to forget abt it tmr i guess...

Like wad i told my fren earlier on... walking is a good time for ourselves to think and also to calm ourselves down for me i guess is also a time for me to forget... Not wanting to think that my tears almost came out that day when i was taking a bus to semb sec for training but luckily i held it back if not i guess i will report with a gold fish eyes i guess...

HAIZ... shall wait till fate comes and bestow me with my mr right i guess...

SO it was finally 12 apr, this is the day where my grandma comes back from spain after 3 weeks there...

My Grandma came back after losing weight as she was sick and stuff like that when she was in spain...

But was great having her back, that means i have lots of food to eat, we then had dinner at the coffee shop opp my blk. Den we went to her hse and listen to some stories that they said when they were in spain...

In the morning, b4 we went to the airport, we went to town to do some shopping or the coming renovation of my toilet... den we came back home...

So as planned on thursday, we went to Sentosa , total there was 6 of us, wanna guess hu are the 6???

Haha... It was me, my bro, my gor, FL, YQ and my da sao... haha My gor's GF, her name is ALISON(pls rmb k... FL)

First we met her at vivocity's Daiso den we went to take the train to sentosa and we walked to siloso beach... we had some fun there till bout 2 plus 3 den we went to bathe and den we went back to vivo to have our lunch den we decided to go to henderson wave but under NEA there was a shower from 3-6 so we decided to go there after 6...

After our lunch we walked about and had Starbuck's too den we headed for Mount Faber cos we were going up from there, when we reach the foot of Mount Faber, it was already almost 7 and the sky was getting darker... den with FL's night blindness i told her we need to get to the top asap as there were no street lamps in the forested area.

So we climbed the bloody stairs which almost killed us when were not even half way up, den after all the groaning of tiredness and pain we finally reached the top... den we followed my gor's instruction den we reached henderson wave at bout 8 plus... we took alot of photos den while we were taking our artistic photos, one uncle came forward to ask:" Hey can i no why are u all lying on the floor helping others to take photo, i am kind of new in taking photos den as i walked down the whole stretch there were alot of ppl taking photos in the same manner." So i was like :"we wanted the angle." SO he was like oh ok... den we carried on with a few more photos den we carried on walking...

After finish walking henderson wave, we reached a toilet and we had our little business there den we carried on walking, our final destination was alexander arch...

We walk for quite some time b4 reaching alexander arch, we had lots of photo taking at alexander arch as well.. it was much easier to take photos there as there weren't any ppl there so we carried on our black and white series of photos where we left off at the start of the henderson wave...

Den we went to the bus stop at the bottom of alexander arch den we took bus 51 with my gor and da sao den we drop off near ikea den took 855 back to yishun. we stand all the way from there to yishun den we alighted went on individual ways back home.

Sian... In my last post i mentioned abt ubin rite, but in the end thanks to my dear sayang, den we did not go...

So in the end, on Wednesday, we had a conference call of abt 2 hours plus b4 we decided to go hortpark but b4 that we decided to go to amk first for my gor to do his test for poly den to NYP den to SSDCL.

So as initial plan goes, we went to AMK SATA first for my gor to do his check up, but wad a kind of irony, besides him doing the check up, my dear FL and me looked like we needed a doc more as we were coughing and sneezing our way through while sitting in SATA waiting for my gor to do his test. He did 2 times of his urine test and the NOOB nurse said he had blood in his urine... so he got fed up but i can see that he is kind of worried as well, he had plenty off water in the mean while waiting for his 3rd urine test while we went to pizza hut for our lunch...

So he said he was very urgent den he went to the toilet once in pizza hut b4 going for his 3rd urine test. He finally came back and it was finally done and fine...

Den after that we walked back to NYP for him to hand in his forms, but on our way there i think he really had too much of water, he wanted a loo, so we went to the toilet in AMK library... den we carried on walking to NYP.

After all the hassle and stuff, he dropped his form in the Admin Office den we went to SSDCL, let me remind u, it was almost half day gone, den we reach SSDCL den we waited and waited for hours jus for him to book his FTT...

After that we decided not to go to Hortpark already so we went to AMK ntuc to buy ingredients to cook at my place... So after all the buying and stuff like that we took a cab to my place and i found out most of my family at home... den nvm after my grandma cooked, we started our cooking with loads of laughter and argument due to many diff style of cooking...

But most impt of all, we had our sumptous dinner and had dessert and had mahjong after that and in the midst of our dinner we planned where to go the next day whereby is a GOOD FRIDAY .

So we decided to go to Sentosa, shall carry on in my next post abt the Sentosa outing...

So here goes for part 3... My part of the story about me and my dear sayang...haha

So wad happen was during our trekking session in macritchie, i msged haikal so the conversation in our msg goes like this:

Me: Hey haikal, i have somethings to ask you but u need to answer me truthfully alright???
Haikal: ???
Me: You have any galfren or any gal that u like now???
Haikal: Haha. WTH.No.Why? Waa. U all really think too much. Haha. What u want to find for me gf uh?
Me: Erm...
Me: Will you be my boyfren???
So after a few hours of not replying me...
Me: You can take ur time to reply me...I can wait...
So after a few days of not replying...

On fri(achievement day)
When YQ came into the room i could not stop laughing so i left the room, but when i left the room, haikal came into sch.. As wad u noe, i also cannot stop laughing so i walk away...

den i msged him,
me: u read my msg already??? den why u did not reply me??? how come still haven reply me???don accept can say la... is ok one...
haikal:Waa... then no need ignore me like that la...I thought u say i can take my time to reply:p

so i was like fine la... den we did talk to each other like nth like that...haha
initially wanted to reveal on fri as well but like funny den he also not around so i told him today...

I told him that i actually have something to tell him... So he was like yes???

I told him that the qns that i asked was actually an april fool's joke den he was like so now u noe why that day i nv reply u den i was like sian...no fun one...

Aiya...nvm shall look for a better target next year den...haha...

Den jus now was thinking mayb next week going to ubin but haven ask my dear sayang and YQ yet... so shall ask them first den see how...

Here it goes for part 2...Ting!!!

In this part of what have happened, I am going to tell u wad we did on that day...

SO like wad i have mentioned in the previous post, FL tricked YQ but in the mist of deciding how to trick him, we also decided to go to Macritchie (Opps...I hope i spell correctly)... We went there as planned, cos FL wanted to take a look at the tree top walk, U nv see it wrongly, she really intended to go there jus to take a look at it... So i scolded her... she wanted me to go all the way so that she can jus take alook at it... I will so going to kill her if she does that ...

So in the end, we took a bus from yishun interchange to where we wanted to be, when we reached, we walk in to where the paddle lodge is where we saw a handsome ang moh... HAHA...to me he is handsome la... so nvm... den we walk to where we started our day's trail, we saw on the sign board- 4.4km to tree top walk, 10.5km to bukit timah, so on so so forth... so we headed to trr top walk first... on out way there... we see alot of monitor lizards and many different funny stuff... den as we walk, FL said that she needs to look for a toilet, but the only place with toilet is at the ranger station which is of quite a distance from where we were in the middle of the forested area... den we walked faster as she say the s*** was going to come out soon...but not long after she said so, she shouted as she saw a snake, den she said after she got a shock from seeing the snake, her s*** went back in already... but as we walked further, she started to complain about her S*** again...

So we walked further and further but as we walked, whenever we saw a sign it meant that we have actually walked "ONLY" 500M... so i was getting more and more restless,because I wore a slipper which is really not recommended for treking...but the route was really very very long..

I shall not get into the details of all the treking if not i blog until tmr also cannot finish...

But we finally reached the ranger station where me and Fl both S***ed... den we left there for the tree top walk. When we finally reached where the treetop walk was, we saw this sign :" one way only, Please do not turn Back" i showed that to FL and both of us started laughing... den as i walked onto the hanging bridge as wad i called it, FL stood at the starting and jus looked at me... so i shouted for her and she jus came walking to me...HAHA... den as we walked, we saw a tree where FL pluck the leave which might end up costing her a thousand dollars...HAHA... den after she pluck, we walk down the bridge where we saw a few info boards and i saw that we might be able to see snake that were on the trees... so i told FL that i have better not see any snakes while i am on the bridge itself...HAHA... den we walked out of the tree top walk ... den we reached a flight of long stairs... we climb up and down, up and down and up and down....i don noe how many times i have been doing that routine... so ended up we walked to jelutong tower where FL said she wanted to go up that was den that i commented that she can jus go ahead without me while i wait at the foot of the tower...

So in the end, she decided not to go up as well as both of us were really very tired... Oh also forget to mention, she called her dad to pick us up at 3 pm so we walked quite fast so that we can reached the bus stop at 3...

when we saw the map on the distance that we have to walk in order to go out of the reservoir, it gave me a bog headache, cos we have to walk for another bout 5 km or so in order to reach the highway... so in the end we walked and walked and pass by many places, the golf course and stuff like that until we reached a split route, either we turn left where we will go back into the reservoir where th e carpark is or we turn right where we will be able to reached the highway in no time and we do not have to walk in endless route of forested area where we do not noe how long more we need to walk in order to reach outside...

In the end we decided to turn right which will lead us outside to where the highway is...
As we walk, we saw a fitness corner out of nowhere so me and FL find it kind of hilarious so we took photo of it... den we continue to walk out... den when we reach the highway we walk to the nearest bus stop and FL asked her father to go to the bus stop to pick us up...

I shall continue in the next post about my part of April fool's joke.

SO as u noe is april fool's, when the clock strikes 12, FL will always be the one who is something no good. We have been deciding on who to trick and stuff like that...

She decided to trick Her Beloved AH BOY (Guang Long), while i decided to trick My Dear Sayang. So as we were deciding on how to go about, Yong Quan's name came to her and jus nice he was still awake( So suay of him) ... haha... So wad happen was FL msged him I Love You in both french den malay. So he called FL and asked her wad does it mean so she asked him to ask other ppl. Den I suppose I came to his mind, he asked me on MSN wad does "Saya Cinta Kamu" means so i told him i meant i love you and purposely ask him wad happen, is it that he wanted to jio chio bu with this den he told me it was FL who said this to him so i act that i noe nth about it ... den he asked me wad to do so i told him, either he accpet or reject. Oh forget to say also in the conversation, FL was on the phone as well, i joined the conversation so she heard wadever we said but the most torturing part for her is that she cannot laugh out loud while i was laughing histerically on the other side of the line.

So YQ said he will call me again and see how, den i put down the phone. den FL decided to call him while acting crying. She asked him if she really have no chance, den she kena "rejected" by YQ, he told her that he likes Hui Min and he cannot accept her. He only treated her as a sis.Forget to mention also, he initially came to think that it was april fool's joke but i told FL to tell him that she jus need to find a chance to tell him so that even if he "rejects" her she will not be so malu.

In the end we kept him in suspense for the past few days till ytd when we were sitting around the table, i revealed the thing to him and he chased after FL rounds after rounds. HAHA

OK this if FL's part of April Fool, shall share in the next post the time we spend tgt for april fool's followed by my side of the story...