love and frenship fills up my life

Out for 2 Days...

2011-04-18T01:05:00.002+08:00

Already out for 2 days liao... Ytd went out with 2 humble-less girl... Hahaha... Namely Ziwei and Winnie... Was a sinful day ar... hahaha... Had Pasta mania, koi, Wo Ai Tai Mei and marble slab creamary...

Today went out with uncles and aunties... Had marble slab cremary again...

This 2 days had ice cream but it is not as nice... Is it because I use to eat it with you thats why wadever we ate was nice or is it just nice that the one that I ate is not nice?

We went through quite a lot of things during our 1 yr plus together and going through alot of things just reminds me of you and everything that we do together... Did not really notice that we had went to so many places before... Where ever I go and wad ever I do reminds me of you.

Its had to forget wadever we have done and been through... Just hard. But I am living everyday to the fullest and do wadever I can... I believe things will past.

No matter what, I did not regret any part from the start being with you to letting you go... I know that this might be the best for both of us. If we are meant to be together fate will bring us together again... No matter how many rounds we will go it will still bring us together but if it is not meant to be no matter how it is we will nv be together. I shall not force anything.

I just want to let you know that I have never regret agreeing to be your girlfriend to being together with you. I cannot bear to let it go of the relationship but I will not regret anything both of us have decided. I believe it is really the best for both of us. Although we are now individual but I will never forget that you were once my most beloved boyfriend a person I loved the most who is part of my life!!!

Say Hi to my new best friend... He is Francis Poo...

P.S. Its always hard to let go but it will be harder to drag on... Just let natures take its course and you might have surprises from it. You never know...

Signing off,
Carin

Photo taking???

2011-04-15T22:22:00.003+08:00

Hmm... Still deciding whether to wake up earlier to get to barrage or somewhere to take nice photos??? Shall I??? But like its a saturday and still have to wake up early to get out of bed seems like not letting myself rest more... But have a strong urge to take photos... But don noe where to go and take the photo...

Shall I get to barrage, clarke quay, sembawang park or botanic garden???

Don noe where to go and have to meet the girls at 1230 at bugis... Or is there anywhere to take photos at bugis leh??? Hmmmmmmm~~~~~

Never mind... for now shall go shopping online on Gmarket now... Saw wallet and bags... Wahahahhaha... Shall get a new wallet for myself... WWWWWWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

P.S. Maybe photo taking can help to express what I feels???

Signing off,
Carin

Havoc time!!!

2011-04-14T23:34:00.002+08:00

Mum and dad is going out of town this few days so its kind of a free time for me... Hahahah...
Now i am on my way home from terminal 3... Hope mum and dad have a safe trip there and back... Shall wait for them to be back next thurs... So for now anyone can date me anytime :)

First havoc time will be on sat bah... Girls day out~~~
after that shall see how... Slp in day i guess... Hahaha...

So far here its all the plan i have... Hahaha...

Bye peeps...
Carin

Its a brand new me!!!

2011-04-13T22:24:00.002+08:00

Hi everyone!!!

Let me introduce myself~~~

I am Carin Low Zhi Jun currently single but not available as yet... Lol...
A brand new person standing infront of everyone :D

P. S. I am going to stay strong and enjoy wadever is coming next cos life is short :D

Signing off,
Carin :P

Is it how it should go from here??? (Day 4)

2011-04-12T22:41:00.002+08:00

Got it all straighten out. You are going to move on. Seems like our situation can never be changed. I have also see where it is coming from already. We shall just be very good friends from now on. Tmr actually marks our 20 month together but its just too bad that we can never reach it. I shall let nature take its course for me to let go and move on.

It took me 3 years to let go of a crush and it was never easy. Now I have to let go of you who is already part of my life. Its going to be sad but I am going to be happy that you were once part of my life and made it happy before. I am now going to walk the rest of the time alone and I will like for both of us to be happy from now on and so that we still be very good friends and go out and hang out together.

I love you dear and this is the last time I am going to say this.

I LOVE YOU FRANCIS POO HE LONG. GOODBYE AND THANKS FOR BEING MY BOYFRIEND FOR 19MONTHS. I ENJOYED OUR TIME TOGETHER BUT TOO BAD THAT WE CANNOT WALK THE REST OF THE ROAD TOGETHER BUT I BELIEVE YOU WILL ENJOY YOUR TIME TILL YOU FIND ANOTHER BETTER GIRL TO LOVE YOU!!!

So now I am officially single again. Back to the empty heart that I use to have. I will carry on with my life and enjoy my time as well.

P.S. Letting go is not an easy task to do. Going to just take my time.

Signing off,
Carin

Is it how it should go from here??? ( Day 3 )

2011-04-11T16:04:00.002+08:00

Is there anything that i could do to stop thinking about you??? Its not that I don want to think about you but its just that I am not even sure that you will be coming back and I don want to keep holding on and finally one day you tell me you have moved on. That will be very hard on me. I have so much questions to ask you about and so many thoughts in mind but I dare not ask you any of it cos I am no longer the one that you are looking for or hugging to sleep at night.

I just want to know if it is really totally no feeling for me already or there are still parts of it missing me???

I just want to know if you are doing fine without me bugging you???

Most importantly I just want to know if you miss me at all cos I am missing you like crazy???

There are many many more questions... But it is all going unanswered... I don even know if you will be reading this but at least this is the only place where I can write all this now....

Is this really how life should be from now on???

P.S. The spaces between my fingers are only meant for you to fit in and warm it up... But its getting all cold and empty now...

Signing off,
Carin

Is it how it should go from here??? ( Day 2 )

2011-04-11T00:53:00.002+08:00

Its the second day from it... Not really getting use to it... Been checking my phone quite often although I know that there is not going to be anything... Feeling rather odd...

Going to the places that we have been to upteem times and now that I know that this time round its all without you just feels rather sad. Walking the streets that we always walked, going to the movies like we use to but this time round is all without you. Trying to let go cause I am not sure if you are looking for it... But its never easy, when you are already part of my life.
But I hope you will either find it back or just let me know that you have moved on.

Everything has just lost its direction to travel to. Shall hope that the compass will be back soon to guide my way back to the right track that it should take bah. Although have been crying quite abit but I am going to just try my best to stay strong. I just need time to get back to who I use to be... Although it will be back to that empty heart but at least I am still going to be the same old strong girl.
Goodnight to all and especially to you!!! Jia you!!!

P.S. Waiting for the compass to be back to give me the direction to where I am suppose to go.

Signing off,
Carin

Is it how it should go from here??? ( Day 1 )

2011-04-09T22:37:00.003+08:00

I don know if letting you go is the right choice to make for you to go and find back the feeling between us. Cos I am not sure if you might just let go and move on from here or will you keep trying to find back the feeling between us.

I just really wish that its a cooling off period for both of us and you will keep trying to find back the feeling between us where it started off on the 13 August 2009???

As of today, 09 April 2011, it might be really marking the end to it or it might be just a tentative end I am not sure. Its only for you to tell me.

It was almost 20mths together but we cannot have the chance to reach it together. I have actually made plans to it but I doubt we can spend it together. For the past 1 year odd, it have been a nice time together sharing many ups and downs but I doubt we can do it anymore.

Trying to let you go is the toughest decision I have made so far. I don know if I have made the wrong decision due to impulse because I just want you to be happy and put back the smile back on your face. Cos I know that you have been unhappy for quite some time and that is not what I want to see from you. I just want to see the old happy boy again even if we cannot get back together.

So for now I hope which is tentative that we are going on individual path to move towards the same ending... No matter how long it takes maybe we will have a merging point again.

Anyways, shall just end here for now. Goodnights.

P.S. I just hope we are not going to be like parallel lines.

Signing off,
Carin

Expectation...

2010-05-08T17:35:00.002+08:00

Is it when we don expect anything then we will not feel disappointed or sad?

Its just came to my thoughts jus now when I was sitting on the bed thinking... Not expecting anything... Thats when u will not keep hoping for things to happen... But it jus makes my heart sour...

Is this how life should be??? No expectations??? No hope??? No dreams???

All got the point discussed before... Or is it just that the things done are jus too little???

Always questioning myself... Or am I jus always wrong abt the thinking???

Is there anyone that I can talk to??? I jus feel like breaking down any minute... I jus need a person to hear me talk... Can I talk to my beloved??? Can I??? I jus wish to be happy... Is it so difficult???

Signing off...
Carin

I just fail in everything I do...

2010-04-25T22:15:00.002+08:00

I guess I just fail in doing everything... I fail even in this relationship... I totally failed... Never once I did the right thing...

I really really don noe wad to do... Jus feel like crying so hard... tried alot of method today to make myself forget wadever had happen last night... Tried to make myself happy... Wanted to just treat it as nth happened... But after all the effort, it seemed like nth works... I noe crying solves nth... But I really don noe wad to do... I just feels so sour the entire day...

I understand wad Darling was trying to say, but is it really wrong to fantasize??? Sometimes I think it is just a method to bring us off the stressful world... To give us some hope in life... To just give me abit more optimistic thinking... To keep me going... Mayb Darling just thinks that I fantasize too much...

Sometimes I just feel that I have no one to go to... Even Darling... I just wanted a shoulder to cry sometimes but it is nv there... Before I am in the relationship it is not there, even after I am in a relationship I am still not there... Am I really thinking too much abt a relationship?

I fell in love with Darling because I feel that Darling is a person I can go to, who will support me when I am down, console me when I am sad, tell me wad is the right way to go when I am lost in wadever I do, be there for me whenever I needed somebody to hug onto to cry hard... But Darling is always missing something in there... I noe nobody is perfect but I cannot say that Darling have not tried hard enough, Is not that is not good to be practical, but practicality does not work everytime. If love is really so practical it will never be known as love. I really don noe wad to do...

Who can I hold on to??? Can somebody just tell me??? Who can I go to??? I cannot go to Darling... Jus who can I go to??? Darling... Can U jus hold on to my hands and bring me back to where I am suppose to be??? Can I go to u for every single in my life??? Can I??? Can I noe the answer??? I have been trying to hold back alot of tears... I don noe how long more I can hold back... I really don noe...

Bye everybody...

Its just the 3rd day...

2010-03-10T19:51:00.003+08:00

Jus finish watching Marley and Me on starmovie... Finished work at 4 today but came back at 5... den finding ways to dl skype of even oovoo so that i can talk online with darling tonight...

Hey talk abt watching Marley and Me and I jus missed a perso so much or I shld say I have nv stop missing that person ever since I left his side, and that person is definitely my Darling... How I wish I am lying on his legs now comfortably watching the movie...

But nv the less can only get to do that after 3mths...
Haiz... shld be going for dinner soon liao... and i am still downloading the skype... Wad a prob it is giving me... omg... but nvm... shall faster get it done so that i can see my darling online

Signing off...
Chippy

2nd day in Thailand... 94 more days to go... haiz...

2010-03-09T22:55:00.002+08:00

OMG!!! its jus the second day and i am missing my dear so much...

AAAHHHHHHH!!!...

The food here is crazy man... Spicy... Veggie and everything... omg... thats a big nono to me... but like wad dar dar says... take it as a boot camp and eat everything up... haha... will try to bah...

Working in lab is kind of abit sian ar... walking here and there when u are waiting for the centrifuge to be done with spinning and everything... den all of them speaks thai here and is like i cannot understand a single word at all... thats abit frustrating ar... but nevertheless... the people here are all very frenly... they help me and explain everything to me. Hope the stay here will get better bah... cos i am getting really sian of walking to everywhere especially for my dinner... hahaha... often or not i jus feels like settling my dinner with cup noodles and everything... but i promise my darling that i will not jus eat cup noodle for dinner... so for today i had rice for dinner although it is also packed food... haha... was quite delicious though... like wad mummy says... with 7-11 arnd it will not be a problem for me... hehehe...

Weather here is super hot... but i did rmb to drink alot alot of water wor... I promise darling one mah... hahaha... so yep... I am definitely drinking one now...
Also heard that over at Singapore got alot of haze rite... all of u mus drink alot of water and take care of urselfs over there ya...

Alright... Shall wait for Jia yong to come over for some dai dee first den talk to darling liao den shall get some slp liao lor.. hehehe...

Buaiz ppl...
Missing Every Single One
Especially my Darling!!!

Chippy Signing off...

Tonnes of projects, tutorials and assignments...

2010-01-30T01:31:00.002+08:00

Had so much to do... So much project to accomplish, so much tutorial to do, so much assignment to spend my entire night awake trying to finish it...

Jus now went out with my ususal clique. Had alot of laughs and everything... but end up jus 1 call ruin everything... Ms Lee called to ask if I wanted to go for a concert at Clarke Quay... So asked mummy... ended up she start nagging and scold say i always give excuse that i have alot of homework and exams so nv help in the household chores...

Have she ever seen how much deadline i have to meet... how much homework and projects that needs to be done... i seriously don noe... haiz... after so many days of hardwork, finally want to rest den got scolding... really tired...

Will I regret???

2010-01-26T21:04:00.003+08:00

Have been thinking for quite some time already... Whether to make the choice or not... Have been holding back for quite some time liao... But I guess I will regret after that if i really decide to do so... I really don noe wad I am thinking... Hope things are going to change for the better... I am jus too saddened by the situation sometimes... Don like to think about negative stuff but always things jus smack me hard in the face making me to face it...

Seeing my Darling's moody face...
Seeing my Darling's pissed off face...
Tried to pacify him but it will always end up the same... not that i don want to try to make my darling happy... sometimes after trying so many times and yet is still the same... maybe i am jus too lousy... or maybe i jus tried too hard...

I guess I am just not good enough... I seriously think so... I am really lost in wad to do next... I hope its still a long way to change wadever needs to be changed to make it a much smoother path... Don wish to make the wrong choice and regret...

I really really love you!!!
I really really love Dale!!!
I really really love my Darling!!!
I really really love Francis Poo He Long!!!

I will not give up so easily... Perserverance is the word...
Hope that word shall occupy my entire diary...

Bye

Too much???

2010-01-24T00:53:00.003+08:00

i was wondering if i am too naggy or irritating...
Mayb bah... I also don noe... Haiz... Don noe lah...
I don noe... Mayb i am thinking too much... I guess might be because i worry too much thats y i became more naggy or irritating... Haiz...
Haiz... My mind is in a mess... Actually i also don noe wad i am thinking...
Haiz...

Just disappointed...

2010-01-16T00:24:00.002+08:00

I really don noe wad i want...

Wait... I know that there is something that i definitely know...
I want to spend more time with my Darling... Is not that I am not spending enough time or Darling has no time for me... Is jus that whenever I want to talk to Darling, time does not permit like for example recently have tonnes of things to do. By the time I can talk to Darling it will already be late, talk awhile then will have to go to bed. Now that I have the time, I just want to talk to darling awhile longer then Darling want to chase me to do my project. If not then when I want to talk then Darling is tired.

Sometimes when I am too stress out, too tired, I just want to take a break, just talk to Darling. I just need a shoulder to rest on. Just need to find some comfort. Mayb Darling don get my point bah... I just need to talk to people... But... I really don noe... Maybe Darling don understand me well enough bah... I don noe... It takes time for people to get to know each other... Shall wait bah... I really hope so... Haiz...

Bye bye...

Last Day~

2009-12-31T08:28:00.002+08:00

Like I said its the last day...

I guess you guys should know that its the last day of 2009...

Tmr will be a brand new year and a brand new start ya... Not only so... A truth and fact that not everybody likes... We are growing another year older... Hahhaha...

I guess this year have been average... Mixture of both good and bad stuff but mostly are all good ar... Cos I met my darling... He jus makes my world go round u noe why? Because love makes the world go round... hahaha... a bit lame but its true...

I believe 2010 will be a much much better year for me... I strongly believe that... Believe in urself and the things will definitely happen...

So for now, I shall end it off here and wish all of my friends and family a good and properous year in 2010...

Signing off...
Carin~

Meteor Shower

2009-11-18T23:06:00.002+08:00

Its my first time seeing meteor shower.... Its hard to get to see it in Singapore and yet I get to see it last night...

Its really a pity that Darling was not there... But we shall find a chance to go and look at stars k Darling...

The stars got me thinking again... haha... but sometimes, i don noe why i think so much man....

流星划过的那一瞬间是那么的短暂，在那么短暂的时间内它却能带那么多的希望即喜悦给大家。
要是人生能有那么多的希望即喜悦那该多好。

If life could be so short and when u spent it to the fullest wouldn't it be great??? How many ppl really spent their life to the fullest man... Really hard to find... but ya... haiz... nvm... c'est la vie...

Shall not rant so much on this liao...
Shall come back again sometime soon i guess...

1 week have passed...

2009-10-30T16:40:00.003+08:00

Seems like 1 week have passed so so fast... my last post was done last week during bioinformatics and now here i am sitting in the library waiting for bioinformatics lesson...

Haiz... Feeling kind of sian actually... Haiz... Have been feeling this way since last night... Till this morning...

I thought after a night's slp i will feel better, but does not seem to work this time...

Not a very nice night last night... everything said jus seem to be wrong and all... Really felt very lost... don noe wad to say... don noe wad to do... I mean after hearing darling's moody voice makes me moody too... But i don noe whether is it something i said or done that have caused darling to be so moody also... Darling said was due to the rain... But it jus makes me wonder whether is it really the rain...

This morning woke up don noe why still feel so sian... I jus don felt like talking... Jus no mood to do so...

Jus felt like sitting at one corner alone blast the music ... it will be better if it were to rain,the heavier the rain the better it is... Jus felt like getting soaked...

I really don noe wad i want, wad i am thinking...
I don noe wad darling want and wad he is thinking...

Thinking that not knowing wad darling want and wad he is thinking is bad enough... The worse thing is i don even noe wad i am thinking and wad i want after living for 18 yrs jus seem damn jialat...

I think there is something that I need to change man... my pathetic face... I jus gives ppl the black face whenever i don feel like doing anything or don feel like talking... I think they might jus get pissed off by it... haiz... see already also sian rite... shall see wad i can do to my face bah...

Haiz... Mayb shall get a starbucks coffee on my way back home if I don feel lazy to do so bah... Shall not think too much bah...

Buaiz

Boring lesson...

2009-10-30T16:40:00.002+08:00

Sian... The bloody bioinformatics lesson is seriously driving me crazy... I don understand a single shit the teacher said... she is like practically speaking alien to me man...

nvm... looking forward to see my darling later... will be cooking for my darling... as requested lah... but still ok lah... as long as darling happy i will be glad to do so... hehehe...

shall see if i rmb to get photos of the food i cook later(provided it is presentable lah of course...)hehehe... shall blog again later if i am free bah...

Ciaoz

second day in taipei...

2009-10-14T00:05:00.002+08:00

its my second day in taipei lor... Went to many places today and ate many things today too... Its my first time eating chou dou fu... Its superb man... Not smelly at all...

Went to ximending and wu fen pu night market ytd...

This morning left the hotel and went to their national museum den to yang ming shan... After that went to dan shui and took a ferry to dan shui ma tou... After that went to shilin night market...

Now i am sitting on the bed having ah zhong mian xian...

Thinking of my darling so so much the whole day man... Anyway it is our official 2 month le wor... Happy, happy, happy... Love you darling...

My darling will be back in singapore in another 9 hours or so... Do rest well when you get back k darling... Love you!!!

OMG!!!

2009-10-12T02:35:00.002+08:00

Bad news... Timetable is out and is like shit man...

Lesson as early as 8 and ends like at 6... Mon to Fri except Wed...This is going to kill me man... NVM!!! Shall try to look on the bright side...

Anyway shall try to enjoy myself before starting a new battle in the new semester...

Jia you lor everybody!!!

15 days liao lor... Coming back soon...

2009-10-12T02:20:00.002+08:00

Darling will be back in Singapore in a jiffy, but I will be away in Taipei...

Haiz... No choice... Will only get to see Darling after I get back from there bah...

But anyways... hope that the weather in Taipei will become better when I am there bah... seems like it is still raining for this passed few days and the following few days to come... Hope the rain will end soon...

Another few more hours to go till I am out of the house and on my way to airport... Will be taking Cathay Pacific...

Will first have a transit at Hong Kong den to Taipei... Taking the 8 am flight and reach there at bout almost 3 in the afternoon...

For the flight coming back will also have a transit at Hong Kong den to Singapore... Taking the 1015 flight and reach Singapore at 1800...

Till den i guess i might not have the chance to blog... will blog if possible ya...

2days and 7hrs and 10mins...
= 55hrs and 10mins...
= 3310mins...
= 198600secs...

Till then peeps...

Buaiz...

13 days...

2009-10-10T23:25:00.002+08:00

Its been 13 days...

During this 13 days I talk to many ppl and went to different place and think of many things... Don noe wad i was thinking actually but maybe jus trying to sort things out I guess... Mind is in a mess sometimes but don noe why...

I guess this is when I need a double shot frappucino espresso... Cos I think no matter how bad the situation I am in, it will not be as bitter as the espresso itself... So whenever I am feeling down I jus need a double shot frappucino espresso...

Haiz... Jus misses the days being together with Darling... Just feels like hugging him so tightly and not let go... Dreamt of him a few times and I can only wake up and smile to myself... Jus hope to see him real soon ya...

3days and 22hrs and 5mins...
= 94hrs and 5mins...
= 5645mins...
= 338700secs...

Yay... left with 3 days for darling to get back home...hehehe... glad that my darling can get to enjoy himself after so many days of hard work... Till then that I get to see my darling... Love you!!!

12 days... (My 100th post)

2009-10-09T20:15:00.002+08:00

Wow... cannot believe that this is my 100th post liao...

Omg... I am feeling so damn slpy rite now don noe why... mayb slpt too late and woke up too early liao... maybe i shall jus catch an early slp later...

Another like 5days and 1hr and 15mins to go till Darling gets back...
This equates to 121hrs and 15mins...
Which is equals to 7275mins...
Equals to 436500secs...

After counting down for so many days... I am happy that the days are getting lesser and lesser liao...hehehe...

Alright... Shall end here... My eyes cannot open liao... I shall go catch my slp b4 I start slping at the computer table...

Au revoir!!!

Female...

2009-10-09T01:44:00.003+08:00

Haha... ok... wad a title... but ya this thing jus suddenly struck me...

Was watching tv jus now(as usual tv makes me start thinking...hehehe), the actress says, every women loves surprises and are always expecting surprises...

Ok, I find that quite true because I happen to be one of them... Maybe I am jus another ordinary female I suppose... But ya... Love the feeling of being surprised... No matter how big the surprise might be but will jus be happy about it...

Actually female are easy to please from my point of view... Most women are similar... Give them the love they need and fill them with surprises and that is enough... We will feel contented...

Some truth about female is that normally wadever they say they like to jiang fan hua... When they say they don want actually in their mind they might jus be yelling "HELL YES!!!"...
But when they are pissed nv ask them if they are really pissed... It will jus simply make them even more pissed... I mean can't you see it for urself rite...

Wad to do, we are called female for a reason... most of the time we are jus too ridiculous at times...

After reading this, I mean most ppl might jus think that wadever I say might jus be bullshit but this is from a female point of view... How come I suddenly have this post is also because recently talk to many ppl and this is wad i have concluded from the conversation itself...

ok shall end here for this topic itself ya...
Shall catch my slp soon... Buaiz...

11 days liao...

2009-10-08T21:05:00.003+08:00

As of now... Still got...

6days and 0hr and 25mins...
= 144hrs and 25mins...
= 8665mins...
= 519900secs...

Missing him... Miss until cannot tahan sia... OMG!!!

My day at home...

2009-10-08T20:49:00.005+08:00

Haiz... Miss My Darling so so much...

I think I did an out of my mind thing... Ur missy here step into the kitchen and cook... hehehe... was a success wor... I cook gingko nut barley with beancurd skin... nice leh... hehehe... Seldom see me step into the kitchen unless necessary... hehehe... Had egg tart and fruit tart today too... Ms Lee was the one that made the tart... Was nice too...

Aiya... Actually did not want to step into the kitchen one but because daddy ytd don allow me to go ubin so ended up look at website den found out that singapore is so small... no where to go... so ended up stayed at home and decided to cook some dessert that i felt like eating for very long liao... hehehe

Ingredients needed...

Gingko nuts

Beancurd skin

Egg

Barley

Rock Sugar...

Next will be the cooking of the dessert itself...

Boil the barley first...

Followed by adding the beancurd skin...and rock sugar...

Last but not least the gingko nut and egg and left to cook till the barley is soft...

Present to you...

Jealous leh... don get to eat rite... hehehe

Surprise!!!

2009-10-08T15:57:00.002+08:00

hey... It may be a surprise to many ppl that ur missy here is in the kitchen currently cooking gingko nut barley beancurd skin dessert... Hehehe... Will upload the photos later ya...

Hands will be busy making the base for fruit tarts... Later then... Buaiz...

10 days had passed...

2009-10-07T22:00:00.002+08:00

Was watching tv jus now and 1 of the sentence struck me...
Ren sheng de xuan ze you na me lan mah???
I think my answer to it will be...
Ren sheng de xuan ze di que jiu shi you na me lan...

Often or not we are making choices between alot of things in life... When you want to think of not making that choice... The decision will still come back sooner or later until the matter is solved... The choices in life are often limited and when u are forced to make choices u will soon have to do it no matter wad...

For me, I am a person who choose to procrastinate until there is no choice... But do i have a choice of not choosing between certain stuff??? I seriously don noe... but shall let fate do its job... I believe everything is fated... Whether or not is it BGR or friendship... Its all planned...

Sometimes i think this matter is very contradicting... People says that everything is fated and planned for and yet there is another saying that says ren ding sheng tian... Sometimes,i think the more i think, more qns will pop into my head...

I really qns myself whether thinking so much is it a good or bad thing... Thinking about the future jus scares me off the reality... But reality is something that cannot be avoided... Thinking about BGR, family, studies, friendship and many many more things sometimes all i can do is jus sit down and be saddened by all the facts and stuff... Really hope i have the ability to settle all the problem and not disappoint anyone... The most impt thing is that i would not want to disappoint myself over and over again... (Come on man!!! Where have my optimistic character gone to??? Have it been scared off by reality and all the problems???) Jus hope that i can face the reality and problems optimistically...

How I wish if I can go back in time when I am still a baby... How I wish I would nv grow up... How I wish I can jus stay at that time when I am free from problems and troubles...

After ranting so much all are jus "How I wish..." , seriously need to get my mind off from all the problem in the reality but that is jus purely impossible... School is going to start soon and there comes another stress... Nagging parents and u shld noe wad they are nagging about... not only nag about me, they nag me abt my bro and sis and even my darling... haiz... My GPA drop... His GPA not good... why bro fail this and that... why is my sis not improving, why is she still failing this and that... I mean, how much of all this am I able to control... I seriously don noe... besides the part that concerns me, I think the others are beyond my control...Not even thinking if i can control my own part properly...

Sometimes I seriously think about my future prospect but it jus darkens the path infront of me... I seriously don noe wad to do...
Shall jus stop thinking off all these things for the time being after pouring it out all here...

Haiz... Think of my darling think until want to die liao lah...
Think too much liao... Think until dream of him jus now during afternoon nap... This is also the first afternoon nap after so many many days... That would be partly because normally I would have slpt till almost 2pm due to slping at earliest of 4am in the morning... But I slpt at 1am plus last night and was woken up by sms in the morning at 9 plus... One crazy fellow text me in the morning " Jie Jie Good Morning". I was thinking who the bloody moroon was... ended up it was one of my mum's ex-colleague i suppose... den ended up he was saying "I am Jason.28 years old" den my reply was like "ok...". His next msg came and was like "Can we be friend? What about you?"... I was like... siao one... early in the morning disturb people's beauty slp and still want o make fren... crazy fellow... den i cannot be bothered to reply any more...

Siao one... if i meet more of this kind of ppl i will seriously scream my head off at them for disturbing my slp man...

Anyways... Counting down to the days darling is coming back liao... Hehehe...
Thinking of it makes me happy... hehehehe...

6days and 23hrs and 30mins...
= 167hrs and 30mins...
= 10050mins...
= 603000secs...

Yay... counter getting lesser and lesser liao... heheheh...
Jia you Jia you... Somemore, somemore...Soon... Soon... hehehehe...

Shall end of here for the time being ya... hehehe... Buaiz peeps...

9 days without Dale...

2009-10-06T19:30:00.003+08:00

Its been a long long 9 days liao...

Still counting down...
very very happy to hear darling's voice jus now... it jus brightens me up :D

Love you so so much darling... Wait till I come back den i update you k?hehehe... Hope will be able to talk to u via msn when i am in taiwan k...

8days and 2hrs
= 194hrs...
= 11640mins...
= 698400secs...

Love you...

8 days liao...

2009-10-05T23:15:00.003+08:00

Counting down liao ... hehehe... 8 days to Darling coming back to Singapore...

8days and 22hrs and 15mins...
= 214hrs and 15mins...
= 12855mins...
= 771300secs...

Omg... This few days i think i am jus trying to kill myself... Slping at the earliest time of 4am and waking up earliest at 12pm provided with ppl calling to wake me up... It has been the pass 8 days... Omg... i don noe how long more is this going to last... does not feel slpy at all at night... haiz... nvm... shall jus see how long this is going to last bah...

7 days liao lor...

2009-10-04T15:00:00.003+08:00

Ytd was Mid-Autumn Festival...

Nv really do anything... Only went to Ahma's place for dinner... Had steamboat for dinner last night... It was great cos most of us gathered at ahma's place...

After that came home and planned on where to go when i am in Taiwan...

Now have nth much to do... Woke up at 1 plus den had lunch with my beloved best friend Ms Fiona Lee...

Miss my Darling so so much... Its 7 days liao... its another 10 days or so for darling to get back to Singapore...

10days and 6hrs and 30mins...
= 246hrs and 30mins...
= 14760mins...
= 885600secs...

Although this counter is getting lesser and lesser but in the end still need to add another 4 days to it... Nvm... Shall test my patience bah...

6 days liao...

2009-10-03T00:00:00.004+08:00

Its officially Mid-Autumn Festival...

Its a time for gathering, sit down and have mooncake, play with lantern and candles... But for me something seems to be missing as darling is not around with me... But nevertheless... When i look at the moon i will feel glad as i noe that darling will be looking at the same one as well...

Jus now went for dinner at bei sheng lou with the usual gang... Today was a big group of us... Today including me there are 11 of us... They are namely yoke hong, guo quan, sim ying, daryl, yang rong, yang qing, wei yang, beng fong, dan dan, xue jun, meng hui and last but not least... ME!!! Its a long time since we had such a big group gathering... but i guess we will not have one until after their A levels... But in any case i will like to wish them all the best...

Had dinner already den was deciding where to go... After long discussion decided to buy some candles and den walk to yishun park which is located near safra... After walking almost the whole park we finally found a spot where ppl have their taiji session...

We played with sparkles and candles...

The happiest thing of all is that darling called back... hehehe... Super duper happy to hear his voice... miss him so so much...

So... too much off missing him and this is wad i did... hehehe...

After that went for a drink den walked from safra to Syed for roti prata den came back home...

11days and 21hrs and 30mins...
= 285hrs and 30mins...
= 17130mins...
= 1027800secs

But seeing that I will be going to Taiwan...

it adds another 4 days to the counter... Haiz... How I wish i can get to see my darling sooner...

4 days already...

2009-10-01T21:00:00.003+08:00

Its been 4 days...

Haiz... Suddenly I have an unpleasant feeling... Don noe why am I feeling this way... Scared that something bad might happen... Cross my finger and pray hard that nth happens... Pls...

This morning I heaved a sigh of relieve... A msg came and inform me that my lappy's problem could be solve and fixed without having to pay a single cent as because if it is a software prob den i will have to pay the money... Luckily it is hard disk prob... So they got it replace but will have to wait till it gets back from sony centre to the shop for collection...

Went for class gathering at Kenny's place today...

Then went off with Ping Ying and met Yoke Hong to go to bugis... Carried 3 pomelo back to Yishun cos ahma they all wanted to eat...

Today met many ppl...
Today talk to many ppl...
Today think of many things...

Haiz... Problem surfaced since then till now still not solved... Hope can be solved soon bah...Haiz...It was all meant to be happy but why did it all turn out this way???

Shi shang zhen de mei you liang quan qi mei de shi mah??? Zhen de bu xi wang fang qi ren he yi fang... You ze ge bi yau mah??? Wei he bu neng he ping gong cu??? Wo zhen de bu liao jie... Hen xi wang yi qie dou shi yi chang e meng... Jiu rang wo chong e meng xing lai bah...

Song of the Day...

分分钟需要你林子祥

愿我会揸火箭带你到天空去
在太空中两人住
活到一千岁都一般心醉
有你在身边多乐趣
共你双双对好得尺好得意
地暗天昏当闲事
就算翻风雨只需睇到你
似见阳光千万里
有了你开心D 乜部都称心满意
咸鱼白菜也好好味
我与你永共聚分分钟需要你
你似是阳光空气
扮靓D皆因你癫癫地皆因你
为你甘心做傻事
扮下猩猩叫睇到乜都笑
有你在身边多乐趣
若有朝失左你花开都不美
愿到荒岛去长住
做个假的你天天都相对
对木头公仔做戏

Days seem so slow without Darling around...

13days and 0hr and 30mins...
= 312hrs and 30mins...
= 18750mins...
= 1125000secs

This is the number of days, hours and mins that I am still waiting for my Darling to get back from Cambodia... Hope he is doing fine there...

3 days without Dale...

2009-09-30T16:20:00.002+08:00

Its been 3 days...

Still waiting...

14days and 5hrs and 10mins...
= 336hrs and 10mins...
= 20160mins...
= 1209600secs

2 days without my darling...

2009-09-29T13:00:00.002+08:00

Hehehe... Glad to hear my Darling's voice ytd... But really not use to it without smsing my Darling and stuff...

But in any case...
Counting down to the day that Darling is coming back...

15days and 8hrs and 30mins...
=368hrs and 30mins...
=22110mins...
=1326600secs...

I am still waiting...

Days without my darling....

2009-09-28T16:05:00.002+08:00

From now till my darling is back from cambodia will be,

16 days and 5 hrs and 25 mins...
=389 hrs and 25 mins...
=23365 mins...
=1401900 secs

OMG!!! Enduring the day without Darling around...

Waiting... Waiting... Waiting...

Darling...

2009-09-19T19:06:00.002+08:00

To my darling ar...

Don think to much k...
I love you no matter wad...
I will not want to lose u in any way...

I love all the time we spent together... No matter how much time we are able to meet up and be together, my love for u increases with the passing second... Thinking that u will be overseas next next week and will only be back in bout two and a half week makes me miss you more than ever even when u are with me...

LOVE YOU MORE THAN EVER,
MISS YOU MORE THAN EVER,
MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL...
I WANT TO BE WITH YOU MORE THAN EVER!!!

Time...

2009-09-19T18:20:00.003+08:00

Its been a long time since i last blog... Many things happen... there are a mixture of feeling... How shld i say... Happy, sad, disappointed, pissed and mayb angry...

Those hu noe who and wad i am refering to will noe wad i am talking abt... i don noe if i am thinking too much or being too sensitive but ya... I do agree that things have changed... If u think by not telling wad have change will help the situation den mayb u can carry on with this attitude or behaviour u are treating me... If not we can talk things out... I noe i don have the patience but i am trying to change as well... Do give me time to do so... Will still hope that things can be like last time where we had all the fun that we want... And not the time now when i feel that we are wearing a mask when we are together... Do hope that things will turn out better...

Time pass very fast...

2009-08-24T16:00:00.000+08:00

OMG... time pass so fast and now i am officially 18...

Had an enjoyable time with the people around me... They are namely MY BELOVED BOYFRIND- Francis, MY GORGOR FOREVER- Chi Peng, MY BEST FRIEND FOREVER- Fiona AND THE MOST IRRITATING- Derrick...

After training last fri, all of us went back home and get changed before heading for Northpoint again where My Darling and Derrick were waiting for us almost impatiently at Pasta Mania cos the bus we were waiting were freaking long...

So we had our dinner at pasta mania den all the stupid stuff happened after our proper meal... I had a piece of apple crumble with hell lots of other seasoning added to it... let me recall wads inside...

There are other seasoning like:
- Salt
- Pepper
- Tabasco
- Cheese
- Chilli Flakes
- Last but not least also the most impt thing with is the apple crumble

I was suppose to finish the apple crumble filled with all this things... omg... but ended up i managed to finally finish it...

All this freaking idea mus thanks to fiona, chi peng and derrick...

After that will be the cake where i got lots of whipped cream on my face... Was also asked to take out the fruits without and utensils and also eat my piece of cake without utensils and lastly, my piece of cake went onto my face...

Haiz... Nvm...I shall get my revenge soon ya... Like wad Fiona'a mum said... 君子报仇十年不晚。hehehe... i will get my chance soon...

After that went to get mahjong and go to Fiona'a place to play till 2 plus... Den my Darling wanted to wait for the first bus to get home but both of us fell aslp den slpt all the way till 1 plus where we made lunch... Bread Pizza... Talking bout it... i think i will be turning herbivor soon man.... my Darling love veg... so most of the things he made will be containing mostly veggie... so ya... but i will still eat anything that my Darling make... hehehe...

To my surprise, Liyi and Zhao Di came with a small piece of cake to celebrate my birthday for me... Den after that... as u noe lah... when gossip queen come tgt hor... hehehe... We gossip all the way till 8 plus n they left my hse but b4 we started gossiping i sent my Darling to the MRT station where he went to Bukit Gombak to meet his parents...

At ahma hse... I had Hong Zhao Ji which was great den had ice cream cake which my parents got for me at swensens...

On my birthday, woke up in the morning den go and pray den went to Darling's hse to study den after that go to ahma hse for prawn noodle...

But the most impt thing to note after such a long post is that i had a very enjoyable time throughout this few days and i will always rmb it...

Its because I spent my birthday differently with someone I love the most... Will always cherish the moment I spend with my Darling forever...

CARIN LOVE FRANCIS FOREVER!!!

No longer empty...

2009-08-08T17:13:00.000+08:00

After so long of not updating shall jus come back here to update a bit...
Someone have been asking me to update my blog for quite sometime liao so shall jus do it ya...hehehe

The use to be empty heart is currently occupied... hehehe...

From now onwards i will no longer feel emptiness within (i hope) as someone have occupied that space which was empty for quite some time...hehehe...

Nv expect that the empty heart would be filled up but in any case, it is already filled up and hope that it will no longer be empty ya...hehehe...

Shall end here for now... Will come back to update more :D

Marina Barrage

2009-07-12T18:10:00.002+08:00

Ytd went to barrage with a group of ppl namely Francis,Chi Peng, Fiona, Alison and Yong Quan...

Did not really like the scenary there .. filled with all the construction and stuff... But like the open space in the area... makes me feel less restricted and more carefree...

While they were having a hard time flying the kite, i was taking photos with francis's camera... hehe... but till now he haven send me the photo :(, Nvm... shall wait till he send ya...

So when they finally succeeded in flying the kite, they intend to extend it but becos dear ms lee did not tie the string properly, the kite kena 放生. After which, we had our meal... den the dark clouds started to overwhelm the entire sky den it started drizzling... so we decided to leave as well...

Ms lee went to look for her fren at raffles city, den gor send alison back home den me, francis and quan took train back... while francis alighted at amk, me and quan alighted at yishun den i followed quan to get his specs... he look kind of cute in it... shld see...hehehe... quite funny la....

After that went home den slp awhile, my dad woke me up to help him to some things on his comp den i went back to slp again ... n gor gor called and he came to my hse at 9 plus with hokkien mee... den after we eat, we did npcc stuff all the way till 5 plus 6 den the 2 of us cannot tahan liao... so stop doing den started to talk... den he went back home at bout 6.30 den i went to slp at 7 all the way till 3 plus...hehehe... damn shiok... den now have nth to do...so i think shld do some hw ba...

shall jus end here....buaiz...

Thinking

2009-07-09T23:45:00.002+08:00

Come to think of it...Seems like i have change quite alot compare to last time... But i don noe if its good or bad...

Seems like i don have the motivation as wad some can say... Last time use to chiong the stuff in wadever i do but now seems like most of the time i choose not to care... I also don noe if it is because of this that i don have the fire in me...

I have really bad temper... Don believe i think anybody can jus go and ask fiona or even chi peng i think they have really seen all those kind of bullshit from me. My temper come real fast and its real bad. I think anyone hu first sees it will jus get as far away from me as possible...But i don noe if i am still like that but it seems to me that my temper had gone down.

But i guess is also because the fire within is no longer there i no longer do things the way i use to ...i also don noe how to describe but i guess is kind of dissapointing but after my bloody paper tmr i shall look into it and see wad i can change abt... Haiz...

Shall jus end here and get back to study for the last paper ...

In memories of MJ

2009-07-08T02:51:00.000+08:00

Heal The World
Michael Jackson
Think about on the generations
And say we would make better place
for children and children's children
so that they , they,they,
they know that the world for them
think they can make better place
There's a place in your heart
And I know that it is love
And this place could be
Brighter than tomorrow
And if you really try
You'll find there's no need to cry
In this place you'll feel
There's no hurt or sorrow
There are ways to get there
If you care enough for the living
Make a little space
Make a better place ...
Heal the world
Make it a better place
For you and for me
And the entire human race
There are people dying
If you care enough for the living
Make it a better place
For you and for me
If you want to know why
There's love that cannot lie
Love is strong
It only cares of joyful giving
If we try we shall see
In this bliss we cannot feel
Fear or dread
We stop existing and start living
The it feels that always
Love's enough for us growing
So make a better world
Make a better world...
Heal the world
Make it a better place
For you and for me
And the entire human race
There are people dying
If you care enough for the living
Make a better place for you and for me
And the dream we were conceived in
Will reveal a joyful face
And the world we once believed in
Will shine again in grace
Then why do we keep strangling life
Wound this earth, crucify its soul
Though it's plain to see
This world is heavenly
Be god's glow
We could fly so high
Let our spirits never die
In my heart I feel you are all my brothers
Create a world with no fear
Together we cry happy tears
See the nations turn their swords into plowshares
We could really get there
If you cared enough for the living
Make a little space
To make a better place ...
Heal the world
Make it a better place
For you and for me
And the entire human race
There are people dying
If you care enough for the living
Make a better place for you and for me
Heal the world
Make it a better place
For you and for me
And the entire human race
There are people dying
If you care neough for the living
Make a better place for you and for me
Heal the world
Make it a better place
For you and for me
And the entire human race
There are people dying
If you care enough for the living
Make a better place for you and for me
There are people dying
If you care enough for the living
Make a better place for you and for me
There are people dying
If you care enough for the living
Make a better place for you and for me
You and for me ...
You and for me ...
You and for me ...
You and for me ...
You and for me ...

心墙

2009-07-03T17:52:00.000+08:00

一个人　眺望碧海和蓝天　
在心里面　那抹灰就淡一些
海豚从眼前飞越　
我看见了最阳光的笑脸
好时光都该被宝贝　因为有限

我学着不去担心得太远　
不计画太多　反而能勇敢冒险
丰富地过每一天　快乐地看每一天　
第一次遇见阴天遮住你侧脸
有什么故事好想了解　
我感觉我懂你的特别

你的心有一道墙　但我发现一扇窗　
偶尔透出一丝暖暖的微光
就算你有一道墙　
我的爱会攀上窗台盛放　
打开窗你会看到悲伤融化
你会闻到幸福晴朗的芬芳

Regrets

2009-06-30T20:03:00.002+08:00

It seems like at every min there are ppl hu are regreting wadever they are doing...

But wadever done is done and there is no turning back... My advice would be to learn from mistakes and not let it happen... Asking somebody to hit u to wake u up is not an alternative. If it were to work it would have work long time ago...

To FL: Is not that I don want to be bothered. But wadever happen has happened... I don noe if i am a good fren, but i think i shld not be guiding u in every step u take. I feel that it is really time for u to learn to make ur own decision. YQ have once asked me how come i suddenly became so cold towards u but wad i told him was I wanted u to learn on ur own. not to rely on us to make ur decision and stuff like that. even if u were to make a mistake does not matter, learn from it we will be there to help u. Nv regret in wadever u do... Is not the process that matters is the result that matters the most. If for the past mayb i would have screamed at u for wadever u have done today but for now I have seen too many of such stuffs and have gotten over it.Scolding or hitting u does not solve the problem.The thing is if u love urself ppl will love u for hu u are.
So do not be bothered about wadever have been done or said today. Jus let it pass. I noe forgetting is difficult but try.
Let today be a history and let tmr be a new start. No point dwelling on it.

Last note, anything can jus come to me i am always there for u when u need it. if u think i may not be of help is ok but jus rmb my phone is on 24/7 call me anytime.

Barbie

2009-06-27T02:38:00.003+08:00

So jus now went to FL hse to help her with her no. 1 and stuff... den after that was thinking of wad to wear for tmr den she was like she wanted me to wear skirt so she went to look for her largest skirt...

Ended up i became a barbie doll and den was being dressed up and stuff... she and her sis mixed and matched shirt to suit me... was like funny la... it has been so long since i last became a barbie and being dressed up by other ppl... so ended up left her place at bout 12 plus to get home...

shall end of here...lazy to type liao...

buaiz

Guai Me...hehehehe

2009-06-24T20:44:00.002+08:00

So the guai me went to sch to study with belle and py today... Did some studying on ABC... Had lunch in the middle of studying den fell aslp for bout half an hour den carried on studying...den bout 4 plus 5 came back to yishun to have dessert at Blk 928 with Francis and Ping Ying...hehe... den walk back home...

Went to Ahma hse to eat den now lying on the bed with my eyes half closed...Shall jus catch some slp first...

Au revoir :)

Kai Shi ZI Ji De Ming Tian

2009-06-23T23:12:00.002+08:00

你总爱编织谎言我负责配合表演
nĭ zŏng ài biān zhī huăng yán wŏ fù zé pèi hé biăo yăn
所有改变只为了进入你的世界
suŏ yŏu găi biàn zhī wéi le jìn rù nĭ de shì jiè
这情节重复了一百遍
zhè qíng jié zhòng fù le yī băi biàn
才发现是你的心太野
cái fă xiàn shì nĭ de xīn tài yĕ
你划定楚河汉界我不能轻易犯规
nĭ huá dìng chŭ hé hàn jiè wŏ bù néng qīng yì fàn guī
所有时间都是先给了你优先权
suŏ yŏu shí jiàn dōu shì xiān gĕi le nĭ yóu xiān quán
不自觉爱到不敢冒险
bù zì jué ài dào bù găn mào xiăn
成了你的傀儡一年两年
chéng le nĭ de kuĭ lĕi yī nián liăng nián
才看见我有多狼狈
cái kàn jiàn wŏ yŏu duō láng bèi

爱到妥协到头来还是无解
ài dào tuŏ xié dào tóu lái huán shì wú jiĕ
绑着你不让你飞
băng zhăo nĭ bù ràng nĭ fēi
历史不断重演我好累
lì shĭ bù duàn zhòng yăn wŏ hăo lèi
爱到妥协也无法将故事再重写
ài dào tuŏ xié yĕ wú fă jiāng gù shì zài zhòng xiĕ
你已下最后通牒
nĭ yĭ xià zuì hòu tōng dié
我躲在我的世界
wŏ duŏ zài wŏ de shì jiè
你只是害怕一个人睡
nĭ zhī shì hài pà yī gè rén shuì
我不想再为你掉泪
wŏ bù xiăng zài wéi nĭ diào lèi
我了解不会变不再徘徊
wŏ le jiĕ bù huì biàn bù zài pái huái
开始自己的明天
kāi shĭ zì jĭ de míng tiān

Sian

2009-06-20T01:22:00.002+08:00

For the past few days have been stucked at home due to the renovation of the toilet... but was like nv do anything fruitful at home at all... nv do report, nv study for common test... only chat on msn... wad was i even thinking... trying to kill myself in common test??? omg that cannot be man...

Cannot let this happen... should really get the engine going and study liao... since have time...

Haiz... Sian... Really like sian la... don noe why suddenly felt a tinge of sadness but don noe where it came from... tmr morning have AAR meeting but now i am still online ...omg... i should get my ass on bed already...

Should not be so stubborn jus in case cannot wake up in the morning sia...

Signing off ya... Buaiz and nitez to all

Dedicated to Clarabelle

2009-06-04T21:11:00.003+08:00

So how was the light bulb??? Bright enough??? How many watt was it???

I guess he is not the energy saving light bulb...It is the brightest of all ya... Hahahaha... To those who don noe wad i am saying rite now is ok... hahahha... Only those sitting at the lunch table will noe wad i was talking about... and it was real funny hehheehehhe...

Signing off...

无趣的人身

2009-06-03T01:10:00.002+08:00

我本应该写些什么的但是写到一半我又不知该怎样继续写下去。

当我在写这一篇时我突然有一种不知从何而来的感觉。我突然有一份很失落的感觉。有一种很像哭得感觉。

不知为什么会这样。

真的感到很失落无阻。谁能来帮帮我？？？

seems alright

2009-06-02T09:52:00.003+08:00

jus finish the hbd test like less than an hour ago and now i am like sitting in ltr2 listening to ms tai having her lecture...

The hbd test seem ok la... Met with quite a few qns that i totally have no idea wad the answer was but on the whole shld be able to pass...

Seems like my whole night of reading the note have not gone to waste... But the after effect is...SLEEPINESS so now is like totally tired but did not want to slp during lecture although i am not listening at all...shall carry on with my day dreaming in lect for now... Buaiz...

Once in a lifetime experience...

2009-05-31T23:32:00.002+08:00

Have u ever seen a wildboar running across the road when u were cycling half way???

Hehe... On sat, it was my first time seeing a wildboar running across the road while i was cycling. I was amazed as normally the wildboar i see will the one at mamam beach whereby it is kept by a family. So is like kind of amazing... hehe... But was at ubin to do recee for atc which is coming up like real soon... is like in less den 2 weeks time and there are still lots of things to coordinate and planned... haiz... sian...

Shall jus faster get all the things done ... renovation for the toilet is also soon... but have hell lots of things to do... still need to help pack the bloody hse... OMG... Killing me man...

Shall end here...

Hope everything will come to an end SOON!!!

2009-05-31T00:29:00.002+08:00

It seems like a neverending chore with NPCC nowadays... A lot of datelines to be met and stuff.... Haiz... Not everybody seems to be committed and cooperative nowadays thats wad makes organising and coordinating more difficult... OMG!!!

Seems like it was quite sometime ago since i lost the interest in it and i jus feel like getting everything over and done with and not be bothered about it for a long long time (i hope)... A test is coming up on tueday and i have yet to touch it at all and not having to say all the reports and stuff not yet done... OMG !!! i guess i will be stuck at home for the whole day tmr to do all the studying and all the reports... Sian... But wad to do... No choice and yet still need to be bothered with all the NPCC stuff... AHHHHHHHHH someone pls help...

Shall jus end here and try to go and get somethings done... Buaiz...

Man U

2009-05-28T05:23:00.002+08:00

Haiz... Man U did not really do a good job for the match that jus ended... Barca won by 2-0. Their defence were good... But Man U were like kind of lost today in the match... haiz... disappointed... Had a few good chance to score but was all missed...

But nevertheless, Man U is still the team i will always support...

Try harder Next time:)

Congrats

2009-05-28T05:21:00.003+08:00

Heyhey... Here to congrats the sesame street winning the first position in Captain's ball... They played a tough game and it was really awesome...

The cheerleaders( gerard, me and Syuk) cheer until no voice... Me and gerard stayed till almost 10 but it was worth it...

HEHE...Congrats anyway

Damn Suay

2009-05-25T22:27:00.003+08:00

So was like had a lot of fun as there were 6 of us ,me,zhi pang, Clarabelle, Yong Gao, Gerard and Jacinta... we went to east coast to blade... den both clarabelle and yong gao fell like umpteen times in the process of getting from place to place...

After that we took bus 13 back to AMK Hub initially wanted to watch movie den ended up we missed our showtime so decided to have dinner and come home.. so we went to hub and eat at MOS burger... den was like went to buy things when we came back my bag was gone and i only realise it when we finish our food... den was like cannot find it anywhere but cannot accept the fact that my bag is gone cos of all bag that person took my bag where by there are 2 other crumpler... which has much more expensive and valuable stuff den my smelly shirt and short and my key and my hydration bag and stuff... was like haiz sian

Really sian until no mood sia...Haiz...

Shall jus end here and pray hard that i might be able to get my bag back or something... haiz
Buaiz

On track now...

2009-05-08T00:11:00.002+08:00

Seems like i am going on track now with the lessons... Got use to the timing and stuff... hehe...

In anycase... had alot of today playing badminton and captain's ball with the class...

Initially only wanted to play badminton and it was also a last min decision so i was in jeans...hehe... den ended up i think some students from sports and wellness needed some help in captain's ball game... so we were like suppose to jus play the game and they see wad they can improve on the game and stuff like that so was like had some fun with captain's ball and then after that went back to have badminton...

Den ping ying had to leave so was like left together with her lor...

Jus a side note... Fiona was there the whole time i was playing and she was like wanted to slp ... my initial plan was to get her to play together to sweat it out but she like one fat pig like that sit down there and slp...so ended up she nv play lor... den went home together with fiona back to yishun and took 804 with her back to my bus stop and alight... so that was about it for my day today :)

Buaiz

遗憾

2009-05-01T01:17:00.002+08:00

不知为何突然间活了这么多年我的人生充满了很多遗憾。

真的不知道为什么会有这样的想法。

有时候在想说为什么我不可以像沈盈这样的坦白。真的每次都要让这种机会流失吗？

不敢坦白看起来真的是我唯一的致命伤。

大家都在问但是我每次都否认，不知为什么就是不敢坦白或大胆的说。

算了吧，看起来是没办法救了吧。

我应该就顺其自然。

Don guess

2009-04-29T01:15:00.003+08:00

Hey...

Really don have to guess liao la... Is like in this short period of time i think the person changed a few times ... but most of the time the same person la... but ya... really don guess liao...

Tell me why is so hard to forget
I am not over it,
Tell me why i can't seem to face the truth,
and i really don noe wad to do

Really really...jus give up...

All thanks to YH

2009-04-29T01:10:00.002+08:00

Thanks la...

Ppl don want to think of this kind of stuff den was like noe that there is no chemistry and chance and stuff like that but he insisted that there will be... I guess FL noes wad i am saying abt... Ya...i am talking abt him putting me and GQ tgt...

I was like nv think abt it liao den was like he kept saying and saying until was like... the same feeling came back again... the emptiness or i should say hollow feeling in the pathetic little heart in me...

Haiz... really don noe when he want to stop his bloody nonscence ...

but i really hate the bloody feeling in there somewhere...

Bonsoir, au revoir...

New Start

2009-04-26T23:20:00.000+08:00

A brand new week with a brand new start i hope...

Buaiz

Living for almost 18 yrs

2009-04-25T00:48:00.003+08:00

Living on this world for almost 18 yrs gradually start to be like a chore for me... Really tired out by alot of stuff...

Do not have the motivation to move on... Really really... suddenly really jus want to cry it out loud with no much consideration for anything at all...

Haiz... Really really... haiz...

Really tired out...

2009-04-24T17:31:00.003+08:00

Today although lesson was being pushed up and finished much earlier den wad the timetable have planned, but really tired out as i was running about to help kor kor run some errand and stuff den was like aiya... don noe wad to say...

All i can say after so long is really really tired until feel like crying liao... Kor Kor, not that i want to give u that kind of face is jus that i am jus too tired out to do anything liao...Shall not do that the next time ok???Sry Sry...

sometimes is jus hard to give a smile to everyone when i speak when i am really really tired... really really sian...

Yoke Hong start to match make again... Siao one... but too tired and not feeling well so din really bothered to be involve in the conversation and joke itself...

For you i will

2009-04-24T00:35:00.001+08:00

Wondering the streets, in a world underneath it all
Nothing seems to be, nothing tastes as sweet
As what I can't have
Like you and the way that you're twisting your hairround your finger
Tonight I'm not afraid to tell you
What I feel about you.
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
and cannon ball into the water
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
For you I will
For you I will
Forgive me if I stutter
From all of the clutter in my head
Cuz I could fall asleep in those eyes
Like a water bed
Do I seem familiar, i've crossed you in hallwaysa thousand times, no more camouflage
I want to be exposed, and not be afraid to fall.
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
And cannon ball into the water
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
For you I will
You always want what you can't have
But I've got to try
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
For you I will
For you I will
For you I will
For you
If I could dim the lights in the mall
And create a mood I would
Shout out your name so it echos in every room I would
That's what I'd do,
That's what I'd do to get through to you
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
And cannon ball into the water
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
For you I will
You always want what you can't have
But I've got to try
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
For you I will
For you I will
For you I will
For you I will

Pray hard

2009-04-23T19:51:00.002+08:00

Jus pray hard that after this week of tiring week, next week will be better cos by then will have finish the project which is like suppose to be due tomorrow but i have yet to complete...

Now is like feeling sick lor... don noe when will get sick like that...Actually get sick also good la... can have a little bit of official rest... hehe...

But nontheless, shall try not to get sick during sch term cos i am going to miss lecture which is kind of unhealthy...

School have been kind of boring since school start.... Nth interesting is motivating me...No eye candy no nth... sian...lol...

And by the way FL, u don have to guess who that guy is liao... I have already forgotten him...hehe...

So in conclusion of this post, school have been totally boring and i am also very tired...

Shall jus stop here and get doing my project :(

Tiring

2009-04-22T00:37:00.003+08:00

This few days really feel very tired...

I also don noe is mentally or physically... but jus too tired to do anything...

Seeing all the things change around me... Don noe if it is good or bad... but is like kind of tired to adapt to changes as well...

Shall jus let the nature take its own course and shall not be too bothered bout wad is going to happen or i think it may happen... But a lesson learn and also to let all of u learn, when things are not going ur way, don be too worried about it, jus take a step back and take a look at the whole picture and situation again and see wad u can do again to let it change its course and go ur way...

Sometimes, those things that u don need to worry about jus to be bothered about it... don make urself so difficult and think over those stuff over and over again... the only thing i can tell u is that u are jus trying to find trouble with urself and you are going in circles and u can nv come out of the situation...

So ya, shall jus end here as i jus got ps by my classmate to do project...
but end off with last note ppl jus work hard and u will get wad u deserve ya :p

Buaiz and love u guys always

First day of a brand new sch semester

2009-04-21T01:31:00.003+08:00

So as u see in my title, today is the first day of the semester for poly and also the first day for the entire sch year...

So was like kind of tired in sch today but had some laugh and talk with my classmates... as wad i see... i am not really close to my classmate as i find that for the entire holiday i nv see 90% of my classmate...

But nvm... our laughter is still as loud as b4...hehe

Had like 1 practical lesson b4 lunch and 1 lecture and another practical lesson after lunch...

In conclusion, the most boring lesson of the whole day will indeed be marketing.almost dozed off in marketing's lecture...haiz...

Nvm must buck up and look forward and study :p

Shall end off here to do some printing for my lecture
Au revoir

50th blog post...

2009-04-20T02:11:00.002+08:00

oh so is like this is my 50th post... Did not expect to go so far also...

Congrats to myself to have survive so long in this world...

I am jus too lame don noe wad to post already...
BUaiz

Wad a slpy day???

2009-04-19T00:40:00.002+08:00

So was like a love medium last night... intended to slp early but ended up yoke hong needed advise... so was like talk to him till bout 4 plus in the morning but whereby i have to wake up at 7 plus to go for meeting at canberra...

So was like the meeting had to end promptly all thanks to FI Dominic who called Teck Liang whereby he wanted the instructors in npap to be released on time so that they can be at hta by 11.30...

After that we stayed for awhile to discuss about nco camp itself... Den had lunch at sun plaza's kfc den took a bus back to yishun and yq followed me back home... den he left for basketball but i stayed at home to slp... aft i woke up, i found fiona slping next to me...lol... den when i woke up, i went down to mac where gor, alison and fiona was eating mac...

den we decided to get board games and come to my hse to play and talk cock have fun... den was like had alot of fun in monopoly where yq became bankrupt...
After that they went back home...

Haha... can try to have more of this kind of fun even after sch reopen... but i guess most of us will be too busy with sch work...haha... nvm...

Not only so I forget to mention that yoke hong wanted to pair me and gq up... he ask me to consider him la... haha... den was like i knew why he felt that me and gq is compatible... cos i say during the times where yh needed advise on relationship, den me and gq gave him advise as well so i think was like he might feel that we are like same same like that so is like nvm den...

haha...shall sign off...buaiz

Wad a wrong time

2009-04-18T00:31:00.001+08:00

was jus trying to forget...but at the wrong time yoke hong talk about all this kind of thing so was like...haiz... nvm...

So was like sian...

nvm... i also speechless now and don noe wad to say here liao... nvm

Buaiz

Good Good Motivation

2009-04-17T23:16:00.002+08:00

Have very good motivation today...haha...

See both my sayang and lao gong today rite fiona??? haha

Happy, happy, happy...hehehehehehehehe

now talking to my lao gong... haha... because of yoke hong la...

Den today was really very happy...i jus merely made a comment that i wanted the book den gor gor and da sao bought it for me... oh... soo soo soo happy...will really love the book very very much... hehe...

Haiz... Mr Right... Nvm... But today was really happy to see my eye candy... hehe

Shall sign of here...

Days are passing fast

2009-04-17T03:07:00.002+08:00

Days have passed, and it is so fast that my long holiday is coming to an end and a new semester, a new year is going to start in another 3 days...

I guess i am going to miss the fun and laughter we all had in all the outings and playing around...
so coming to recap of wad i have done in this holiday:

Not long after my exams, i was busy planning and making a lot of last min amendments for annual camp itself... So i suppose in my opinion, the camp came out to be ok... but jus have somethings missing in the camp itself... maybe was not missing some things i should say missing ppl... but is ok... wad passed is passed.

den after was kind of like nua at home... did not do really much... was jus normally going for meetings and trainings if not den nua at home ...

den until the past few weeks den became more active... firstly was labrador park with my sayang and FL...

Den was macritchie with FL and did alot of trekking and alot of stupid stuff and of course met alot of reptiles i should say...

Den was games day and ROD parade, 2 trainings or so for that den was the actual day... it was kind of rush and had some misunderstanding during all the meeting and stuff like that as well...

Den was the amk trip with gor gor, yq and FL... den was cooking at my place and alot of fun and laughter and of course some argument as to how to cook it... But all in all it was still nice and fun...

After all this was our sentosa trip with gor gor, alison(da sao), little bro, FL and yq...
not only that we went to sentosa, we also went to alexander arch...

had plenty of fun and stuff for the past few weeks...

Den was sembawang park... all the walking or i should say blading was a real good time to make myself think and also to forget... I should not force wad cannot be mine and also really i noe that there will definitely be no chance... haiz... nvm... really really shall forget... since i will also get lesser and lesser time to get to see him thats even better for me to forget...

This part of the post is dedicated to FL:

Don have to think so much and doubt on our friendship... although we might have quarrel and had cold war and stuff like that, it was also a good way to let us know each other better... don have to think how long our friendship will last... i believe it is all fated... but no matter how fated it can be, i will make it last as long as possible... if possible forever...u have my promise...

U don need to have alot of frens to show that u are good or popular or wad so ever. U jus need to have really good ones to share ur burden... it will definitely not be a burden for me to share ur feelings with u... i will be more than willing and more than happy that i am able to help u...

so may god jus bless us for our everlasting friendship :p

If you don listen...

2009-04-16T00:35:00.002+08:00

I am serious, if u still like him i have no comments and i cannot do anything already...

actually everybody also noe u still like him, if for ur character if u don like him u would have jus challenged him back when he send u this type of msg in the afternoon...so u kept asking me wad if u don like him , actually don need say u shld also noe... he is jus trying to use reverse psychology on u so that u will go back to him... so i don have to say much, u go and think it through carefully.

Don jus say that we don understand until we are in ur shoe, actually we do understand, is jus because u are in the situation itself so u don see things as clear as we do. we have analyse through the pros and cons b4 we talk to u... its because u are too stubborn or thick skull when we talk to u, so u kept thinking that we don understand thats why u don listen and take in wad we say...

sometimes u are jus too rush into things and nv think it clearly and analyse b4 doing things.

Thats all i have to say, u can listen and take in wadever my gor talk to u jus now for so long. u can also ignore wadever we have said or wadever is said here. theres no hard and fast rule into doing things, sometimes jus need to think of a win win situation and nth will be a problem. so u can jus either let all the saying go into the sea jus now or u can jus take in slowly and see wad u can do and ask or come to me whenever u need help, my phone and hse will be recieving u anytime u need it...

I will always be there for u and don think that u are bothering me or wad... this is wad frens are for... don think too much...

Shall sign off here...

My mum's taiwan and hk trip

2009-04-14T01:50:00.003+08:00

So for the past few days, my mum was planning on her trip to taiwan and hk and also macau... den we were sitting in Xin Wang after our dinner den they discussed abt where to go and stuff like that while i was sitting there reading my story book...

But as i read the story book, my heart got a sudden feeling. EMPTINESS, don noe why it mus always come back some time or another...

thinking of him again but knowing that he does not know abt it so is kind of sad at the same time jus like how the story goes... haiz... all this time trying to forget as well... all the time had been like that... nv thought too much abt it... sometimes i don think i am asking too much, jus needed someone to be there to lean on when i felt like crying and stuff like that.. but haiz... it will nv happen... nvm shall not drag on it any further and shall not let myself think too much too... No hope no chance... shall go and walk walk and try to forget abt it tmr i guess...

Like wad i told my fren earlier on... walking is a good time for ourselves to think and also to calm ourselves down for me i guess is also a time for me to forget... Not wanting to think that my tears almost came out that day when i was taking a bus to semb sec for training but luckily i held it back if not i guess i will report with a gold fish eyes i guess...

HAIZ... shall wait till fate comes and bestow me with my mr right i guess...

Sunday (Airport)

2009-04-14T01:46:00.002+08:00

SO it was finally 12 apr, this is the day where my grandma comes back from spain after 3 weeks there...

My Grandma came back after losing weight as she was sick and stuff like that when she was in spain...

But was great having her back, that means i have lots of food to eat, we then had dinner at the coffee shop opp my blk. Den we went to her hse and listen to some stories that they said when they were in spain...

In the morning, b4 we went to the airport, we went to town to do some shopping or the coming renovation of my toilet... den we came back home...

Sentosa and henderson wave

2009-04-14T01:20:00.003+08:00

So as planned on thursday, we went to Sentosa , total there was 6 of us, wanna guess hu are the 6???

Haha... It was me, my bro, my gor, FL, YQ and my da sao... haha My gor's GF, her name is ALISON(pls rmb k... FL)

First we met her at vivocity's Daiso den we went to take the train to sentosa and we walked to siloso beach... we had some fun there till bout 2 plus 3 den we went to bathe and den we went back to vivo to have our lunch den we decided to go to henderson wave but under NEA there was a shower from 3-6 so we decided to go there after 6...

After our lunch we walked about and had Starbuck's too den we headed for Mount Faber cos we were going up from there, when we reach the foot of Mount Faber, it was already almost 7 and the sky was getting darker... den with FL's night blindness i told her we need to get to the top asap as there were no street lamps in the forested area.

So we climbed the bloody stairs which almost killed us when were not even half way up, den after all the groaning of tiredness and pain we finally reached the top... den we followed my gor's instruction den we reached henderson wave at bout 8 plus... we took alot of photos den while we were taking our artistic photos, one uncle came forward to ask:" Hey can i no why are u all lying on the floor helping others to take photo, i am kind of new in taking photos den as i walked down the whole stretch there were alot of ppl taking photos in the same manner." So i was like :"we wanted the angle." SO he was like oh ok... den we carried on with a few more photos den we carried on walking...

After finish walking henderson wave, we reached a toilet and we had our little business there den we carried on walking, our final destination was alexander arch...

We walk for quite some time b4 reaching alexander arch, we had lots of photo taking at alexander arch as well.. it was much easier to take photos there as there weren't any ppl there so we carried on our black and white series of photos where we left off at the start of the henderson wave...

Den we went to the bus stop at the bottom of alexander arch den we took bus 51 with my gor and da sao den we drop off near ikea den took 855 back to yishun. we stand all the way from there to yishun den we alighted went on individual ways back home.

No Ubin Trip...

2009-04-14T00:56:00.002+08:00

Sian... In my last post i mentioned abt ubin rite, but in the end thanks to my dear sayang, den we did not go...

So in the end, on Wednesday, we had a conference call of abt 2 hours plus b4 we decided to go hortpark but b4 that we decided to go to amk first for my gor to do his test for poly den to NYP den to SSDCL.

So as initial plan goes, we went to AMK SATA first for my gor to do his check up, but wad a kind of irony, besides him doing the check up, my dear FL and me looked like we needed a doc more as we were coughing and sneezing our way through while sitting in SATA waiting for my gor to do his test. He did 2 times of his urine test and the NOOB nurse said he had blood in his urine... so he got fed up but i can see that he is kind of worried as well, he had plenty off water in the mean while waiting for his 3rd urine test while we went to pizza hut for our lunch...

So he said he was very urgent den he went to the toilet once in pizza hut b4 going for his 3rd urine test. He finally came back and it was finally done and fine...

Den after that we walked back to NYP for him to hand in his forms, but on our way there i think he really had too much of water, he wanted a loo, so we went to the toilet in AMK library... den we carried on walking to NYP.

After all the hassle and stuff, he dropped his form in the Admin Office den we went to SSDCL, let me remind u, it was almost half day gone, den we reach SSDCL den we waited and waited for hours jus for him to book his FTT...

After that we decided not to go to Hortpark already so we went to AMK ntuc to buy ingredients to cook at my place... So after all the buying and stuff like that we took a cab to my place and i found out most of my family at home... den nvm after my grandma cooked, we started our cooking with loads of laughter and argument due to many diff style of cooking...

But most impt of all, we had our sumptous dinner and had dessert and had mahjong after that and in the midst of our dinner we planned where to go the next day whereby is a GOOD FRIDAY .

So we decided to go to Sentosa, shall carry on in my next post abt the Sentosa outing...

April Fool's (part 3)

2009-04-05T00:17:00.002+08:00

So here goes for part 3... My part of the story about me and my dear sayang...haha

So wad happen was during our trekking session in macritchie, i msged haikal so the conversation in our msg goes like this:

Me: Hey haikal, i have somethings to ask you but u need to answer me truthfully alright???
Haikal: ???
Me: You have any galfren or any gal that u like now???
Haikal: Haha. WTH.No.Why? Waa. U all really think too much. Haha. What u want to find for me gf uh?
Me: Erm...
Me: Will you be my boyfren???
So after a few hours of not replying me...
Me: You can take ur time to reply me...I can wait...
So after a few days of not replying...

On fri(achievement day)
When YQ came into the room i could not stop laughing so i left the room, but when i left the room, haikal came into sch.. As wad u noe, i also cannot stop laughing so i walk away...

den i msged him,
me: u read my msg already??? den why u did not reply me??? how come still haven reply me???don accept can say la... is ok one...
haikal:Waa... then no need ignore me like that la...I thought u say i can take my time to reply:p

so i was like fine la... den we did talk to each other like nth like that...haha
initially wanted to reveal on fri as well but like funny den he also not around so i told him today...

I told him that i actually have something to tell him... So he was like yes???

I told him that the qns that i asked was actually an april fool's joke den he was like so now u noe why that day i nv reply u den i was like sian...no fun one...

Aiya...nvm shall look for a better target next year den...haha...

Den jus now was thinking mayb next week going to ubin but haven ask my dear sayang and YQ yet... so shall ask them first den see how...

April Fool's (part 2)

2009-04-04T21:21:00.003+08:00

Here it goes for part 2...Ting!!!

In this part of what have happened, I am going to tell u wad we did on that day...

SO like wad i have mentioned in the previous post, FL tricked YQ but in the mist of deciding how to trick him, we also decided to go to Macritchie (Opps...I hope i spell correctly)... We went there as planned, cos FL wanted to take a look at the tree top walk, U nv see it wrongly, she really intended to go there jus to take a look at it... So i scolded her... she wanted me to go all the way so that she can jus take alook at it... I will so going to kill her if she does that ...

So in the end, we took a bus from yishun interchange to where we wanted to be, when we reached, we walk in to where the paddle lodge is where we saw a handsome ang moh... HAHA...to me he is handsome la... so nvm... den we walk to where we started our day's trail, we saw on the sign board- 4.4km to tree top walk, 10.5km to bukit timah, so on so so forth... so we headed to trr top walk first... on out way there... we see alot of monitor lizards and many different funny stuff... den as we walk, FL said that she needs to look for a toilet, but the only place with toilet is at the ranger station which is of quite a distance from where we were in the middle of the forested area... den we walked faster as she say the s*** was going to come out soon...but not long after she said so, she shouted as she saw a snake, den she said after she got a shock from seeing the snake, her s*** went back in already... but as we walked further, she started to complain about her S*** again...

So we walked further and further but as we walked, whenever we saw a sign it meant that we have actually walked "ONLY" 500M... so i was getting more and more restless,because I wore a slipper which is really not recommended for treking...but the route was really very very long..

I shall not get into the details of all the treking if not i blog until tmr also cannot finish...

But we finally reached the ranger station where me and Fl both S***ed... den we left there for the tree top walk. When we finally reached where the treetop walk was, we saw this sign :" one way only, Please do not turn Back" i showed that to FL and both of us started laughing... den as i walked onto the hanging bridge as wad i called it, FL stood at the starting and jus looked at me... so i shouted for her and she jus came walking to me...HAHA... den as we walked, we saw a tree where FL pluck the leave which might end up costing her a thousand dollars...HAHA... den after she pluck, we walk down the bridge where we saw a few info boards and i saw that we might be able to see snake that were on the trees... so i told FL that i have better not see any snakes while i am on the bridge itself...HAHA... den we walked out of the tree top walk ... den we reached a flight of long stairs... we climb up and down, up and down and up and down....i don noe how many times i have been doing that routine... so ended up we walked to jelutong tower where FL said she wanted to go up that was den that i commented that she can jus go ahead without me while i wait at the foot of the tower...

So in the end, she decided not to go up as well as both of us were really very tired... Oh also forget to mention, she called her dad to pick us up at 3 pm so we walked quite fast so that we can reached the bus stop at 3...

when we saw the map on the distance that we have to walk in order to go out of the reservoir, it gave me a bog headache, cos we have to walk for another bout 5 km or so in order to reach the highway... so in the end we walked and walked and pass by many places, the golf course and stuff like that until we reached a split route, either we turn left where we will go back into the reservoir where th e carpark is or we turn right where we will be able to reached the highway in no time and we do not have to walk in endless route of forested area where we do not noe how long more we need to walk in order to reach outside...

In the end we decided to turn right which will lead us outside to where the highway is...
As we walk, we saw a fitness corner out of nowhere so me and FL find it kind of hilarious so we took photo of it... den we continue to walk out... den when we reach the highway we walk to the nearest bus stop and FL asked her father to go to the bus stop to pick us up...

I shall continue in the next post about my part of April fool's joke.

April Fool's (part 1)

2009-04-04T21:06:00.003+08:00

SO as u noe is april fool's, when the clock strikes 12, FL will always be the one who is something no good. We have been deciding on who to trick and stuff like that...

She decided to trick Her Beloved AH BOY (Guang Long), while i decided to trick My Dear Sayang. So as we were deciding on how to go about, Yong Quan's name came to her and jus nice he was still awake( So suay of him) ... haha... So wad happen was FL msged him I Love You in both french den malay. So he called FL and asked her wad does it mean so she asked him to ask other ppl. Den I suppose I came to his mind, he asked me on MSN wad does "Saya Cinta Kamu" means so i told him i meant i love you and purposely ask him wad happen, is it that he wanted to jio chio bu with this den he told me it was FL who said this to him so i act that i noe nth about it ... den he asked me wad to do so i told him, either he accpet or reject. Oh forget to say also in the conversation, FL was on the phone as well, i joined the conversation so she heard wadever we said but the most torturing part for her is that she cannot laugh out loud while i was laughing histerically on the other side of the line.

So YQ said he will call me again and see how, den i put down the phone. den FL decided to call him while acting crying. She asked him if she really have no chance, den she kena "rejected" by YQ, he told her that he likes Hui Min and he cannot accept her. He only treated her as a sis.Forget to mention also, he initially came to think that it was april fool's joke but i told FL to tell him that she jus need to find a chance to tell him so that even if he "rejects" her she will not be so malu.

In the end we kept him in suspense for the past few days till ytd when we were sitting around the table, i revealed the thing to him and he chased after FL rounds after rounds. HAHA

OK this if FL's part of April Fool, shall share in the next post the time we spend tgt for april fool's followed by my side of the story...

In a saloon

2009-03-31T15:26:00.001+08:00

So now i am sitting in a saloon in johor bahru waiting for my mum to do her hair treatment... HAHAHA... I guess i will be bored for the next an hour or 2

Sianx

OH MY GOD

2009-03-31T02:11:00.002+08:00

I indeed have a boring day...

My whole day was spent at home cos MY DEAR SAYANG (MUHAMMAD HAIKAL BIN KASSIM) ps me and Fiona for kite flying in the morning den nvm den nvm he said he will be coming to my hse but in the end he reached my hse at bout 5 plus...haiz...nvm so my whole day was spent at home but i did some fruitful stuff though all thanks to MY DEAR SAYANG...

I vacuumed the floor, washed my pathetic crumpler bag (thanks to FL for teaching me how to wash it) (Which actually turned maroon) and last but not least, I COOKED RICE FOR DINNER!!! haha... But was really really bored... i slack at home for the whole day like sian sia ... wanted to go out but jus 2 ppl also sian sia... den was like haiz... really thanks to MY DEAR SAYANG the whole day's weather was so good but end up did not go out... SO really really thanks to MY DEAR SAYANG for my boring day and With FL in my room creating havoc by snatching my tigger and my Chip... haiz...NVM...

So shall hope for the next outing with MY DEAR SAYANG and FL...

Really looking forward to the outing... Was really really fun when go out with both of them...

The usual feeling have jus came back

2009-03-31T01:51:00.004+08:00

Haiz... don noe why the usual feeling came back again but this time is a totally different person... Fiona, don guess, I have nv mentioned the person before.

Jus now when i was watching the tv i really really have the urge to tell that person how i really feel.

Don noe wad i am thinking also...Haiz... really haiz... don noe how to say liao la... shall not rmb it and jus let it fade and pass...

But really questioning myself is it really that i mus always let it pass like that???

But for the time being since i have no answer to it i shall let it be this way den...

Labrador Park ( Part 3)

2009-03-31T01:24:00.002+08:00

I shall carry on with where i left off jus.

After we reach the top, we took some photos here and there and we decided to walk down as we are already at the top and we have actually covered the whole area. So as we walk down we decided to go for the tunnel. We did some touring in the tunnel where we had lots of fun with all the funny stuff...

A fruitful day after all and we went back to vivo for our dinner...

Guess wad! We played at the playground where it have clearly stated for 12 and below ... So at the very point of time, I am only 11 yrs old while fiona is 9 ...HAHA

After that we took the same bus we took to harbourfront... still can rmb wad is it??? OF COURSE IS 855 LA... Haha... den we reach back to yishun and fiona went for her job interview while after that we went to popular to get my photo album.

OHHHH!!! Wait!!! Did i mention that we saw Jason and Ain at Yishun Bus Interchange waiting for bus. Haha... So according to our gossiping talent we already have known that the both of them are tgt... So we went to disturb them. After that we went into northpoint.

So most imptly, we went home with a happy day spent...

Thats my trip to labrador park after splitting it into 3 post.

Labrador Park ( Part 2)

2009-03-30T16:52:00.002+08:00

SO our journey started when we reach the top where it states Labrador Nature Reserve. We started off with taking down a photo of the map...

Afterwhich we decided to go to the toilet where me and Fiona was tying our hair den we decided to take a photo while Haikal was waiting outside the toilet for us to go out. We started off by walking up the slope. We wanted to go to the tunnel but we have to pay for it and we cld not find anyone but nvm so we followed the route and jus carried on walking. We went to where the gun emplacement was. Took some photo and carried on....

But as we walked, we ended up walking out of the park and reach the sea side. We took a lot of nice photos with the cloud, sea and sun and rocks. Then we went to the jetty. After that we wanted to walk to the top of the park but half way through where we were very exhausted, we met our greatest motivation. Want to know wad is it??? IT IS THE SNAKE. While Haikal drag Fiona up the stairs, i used my photographic talent and took a photo of the snake. Then i ran up the stairs like nobody's. We ran up the stairs with the great motivation with Fiona chasing at the back... When we reached the top we were all panting like OMG...

Shall end here for now as MR HAIKAL IS HERE!!!

Labrador Park ( Part 1)

2009-03-29T13:20:00.003+08:00

Went to Labrador park on Thursday, 26/03/09...

It was hell-lots of fun... We did a lot of photo takings, running about and many many funny stuff...

Initially called Haikal and Yong Quan at 1 plus am in the morning then initially i think Haikal accidentally picked up the phone but did not reply... den on Yong Quan's side, he did not pick up the phone, it went straight to voice mail...So in the end, Fiona and i decided to msg them... so early in the morning 6 plus Haikal replied my msg asking wad we were going to do when we are there... so i just replied. After which, Yong Quan replied saying that he will be working full shift... But his sms was like:"To all my dear not chio bu I working today full shift 10-10." This was exactly how he replied. Wad the heck la ppl call him handsome den he say we not chio bu. Haiz.. NVM...

But so in the end i woke up surprisingly early at 7 plus. So in the end i woke up and watch tv, while i wait for Haikal to reply my msg. So i called him at bout 9.05am den he said let him slp for another 5 mins and e will consider whether he wants to go or not. So he msg me at bout 9.11am saying that he will be going but he have to do housework first. so after that Fiona came to my hse, she waited for me while i was bathing and we left hse at bout 10.15 or so and met Haikal at Yishun bus interchange to take bus 855 to Harbourfront.

On the way to Harbourfront, we talked a lot of cock bus was funny... Then after about an hour plus or so we reached Harbourfront bus interchange where we alighted and Haikal bought his finger food and we took bus 188 to opp PSA builiding.

When we alighted, we walk in where we pass by an apartment. OMG it was damn run down, Fiona still commented that they call such a run down place an apartment. SO we laughed about it and carried on with our journey.

When we walk further in, we were asking each other where is labrador park as we see no sign directing us to it. But in the end we jus followed the road in.

OMG...

2009-03-25T20:01:00.002+08:00

OMG... come back to find alot of bags at the dining room...

so asked my bro who was it and the only thing he said was them lor...

den when i came in, i saw 2 idiots hiding under the computer table den a gal whom i don noe sat on the chair infront of the comp

den they were having their own conversation, den they said something bout shy and stuff like that... like idiot la...

If really scared of me till like that den stand outside of my door den don need to scared of me and hide under the table already...

Then all of them no manners at all... All of them were leaving and did not even bothered to say bye...NO MANNERS...

They shall all get it from me on fri if they are in sch...

FUCK THEM... If they come my hse again when i am at home, they will get it from me ...

Blank

2009-03-25T02:30:00.003+08:00

Wad i really meant was i don noe wad is in my mind... There is like nth in my pathetic pea brain... Wad can i say for the pass few days i haven been doing much... was kind of sian...

As usual have the same feeling... Jus wanted someone for me to rely on and be there for me when i needs it... but i guess that will only happen in the far far away future... Really really omg... haiz...

NVM i shall end here cos i really don noe wad to post thats why but really feel empty within... Shall come back again i guess...

Au revoir

I did nth wrong

2008-11-13T23:07:00.002+08:00

I did nth wrong to deserve this kind of shouting... cannot say proerly meh...i only nv hear clerly and ask to repeat den shout at me
damn sian la... 1 person outside doing nth den ask someone who one to do homework to do this for u... don noe how to think ar?
i have had enough already...

Feelings ...Don noe y...

2008-09-20T03:08:00.002+08:00

Suddenly, i also don noe why... I jus have a sour feeling in me when i watch the hong kong serial show... Jus hoping for someone to be there for me to hug on ... Did not understand why my feelings is ... I also don noe who i was thinking about at that point of time... Is jus the emptiness in me that caused me to feel this way... needing someone to be there to fill up the space... But is it really possible?

Haiz... shall not think so much for now ... need to get some slp... for the past few days i have been slping at nearing morning ... this is seriously not good for my health for sure... but wad can i do ... some times is seriously cannot get to slp...

Nvm... was jus starting to think if wad dan did was rite... thinking about the near future... is it really so hard to get my the other half... thinking to get married and settle down b4 30 is it possible?

tired to think about all this ... sometimes is jus getting sick and tired of life around me... for the past few days, i have been going out with frens for badminton, talk cock, basketball, mahjong and nth else... All the times with them were filled with lots of fun... don noe if this can still carry on for long... thinking about the future... mayb we will get futher and futher... Who noes.... But this make me start thinking that things does not go ur way... It always has its course to take... but can i do anything bout it?

TO WAD I NOE IS THAT I CAN NV DO ANYTHING TO IT ...Is it really so difficult to be together with ur frens forever? IS IT REALLY 不在乎天长地久，只在乎曾经拥有。Is this how life really going to turn out? Thinking of this really makes me feel sad... For a person like me who is trying to treasure every frenship that i come across but most of it does not seem rite... Something has to go wrong somehow or rather...

Nvm shall not think and further and see wad i can do 兵来将挡，水来土掩。I think this is the tactic that i am going to use for now and see wad i can improve on and do something better...

FUN...FUN...FUN...

2008-09-06T00:40:00.002+08:00

Ok... jus b4 i say wad is the fun thing today... Let me talk about ytd...

Ytd after working with my uncle then i went out to Shaw Lido to watch Wall-E...It is a very nice show... After which i was on my way home with my bro when somebody jus msged a hi... I did not noe who is was so i replied and ask who izzit... my bro and i was still thinking someone would have jus replied...Sry i msged the wrong person but ended up was a customer of mine whom i served and bought a laptop... so ended up that person wanted me to inform him if there is a drop of the price for one of the model but ended i was jus a part timer so i am no longer working with that company... so ended up i jus told him that... den we end up chatting... but was practically like idiot....

So after that wanted to do my uniform for promotion test today but ended up i was helping my bro do spread sheet... so i was too tired and i did nth about my uniform and other stuff den i slpt ... den this morning i could not wake up for the promotion test and i carried on slping...Den in the afternoon i went to yh hse and played dai di and mahjong with the group of ppl there who includes daryl, thong thai, xue jun, sim ying, guo quan, yh, yang qing, beng fong, meng hui,and also me myself... was so fun den guo quan went back home to take basketball and we played basketball from 5.30-8... den we went back to yh hse and have dinner which was cooked by yh mum where dan join us at yh hse...den after dinner, yang qing msged and ask if we were going to have another round of basketball game ... so ended up we decided to have one but guo quan left and yang qing came to join us... after a while more meng hui and sim ying left so we were left we 8 of us... so we played without the lights at the basketball court cos it was after 10... den we played until yh ask wad time was yang qing and beng fong's last bus and we found out that it was 1155... so ended up we decided to leave and go to 7-11 to buy drink while yang qing and beng fong took a cab home... den me, daryl, dandan, xuejun and thong thai walk back home...

The whole game was as usual humorous and full of laughter... More of this is going to happen for sure but all their promos are coming and after that will be the poly ppl's common test 2... so lets pray for all of us and may all of us score well for everything...

for now... i shall go and bath cos jus came back home from basketball...
Adious

Yo... 17...

2008-08-25T01:02:00.002+08:00

So now i am officially 17 ... Don noe if this is a happy thing of not... but shall keep it optimistic...
This year is my first yr that i think birthday is jus another ordinary day... although went out with yoke hing they all and had steamboat and stuff but it was like a normal class outing which has nth special...
this yr there is nth for me to look forward to. not much of wishes and needless to say not much of gift.but shall take it that everybody is too busy with exam lately and forgot bout it ya... But i seriously thanks fiona for the ktv ya... really enjoyed myself...
Boring birthday this yr... Not much of fun and laughter like last time and not flooded with wishes and not longer bags of gifts but i don really bother bout that but at least a wish will be good... I suppose Clarabelle forgot bout it though... But is ok... I will jus have to forget bout it and let this yr be a quiet and happenless birthday ever in my whole life of 17 yrs....
Shall end here and get to slp soon cos of exam tmr... need to slp and study well...
All the best to myself and for the next 2 more ppr left...

Nights and filled with emptiness...
Carin

WHY

2008-07-27T00:20:00.002+08:00

Bloody cheating ppl's feeling ...

Everytime say ok... want to go but den in the end they go some where else den not going ... den if not den say all sort of reason den don want to join in to play... Come on la... who have perfect body for all to see... even me myself also don have what for u scared of showing...

Fucker... Give this kind of stupid reason... Or u don noe how to play and scared embarass? everybody have their first time wad... what is the prob...

nv going to be good to u...

Fun and laughter

2008-07-25T23:18:00.002+08:00

I am seriously speaking from my heart... i really enjoy myself when i am with my sec sch fren.

And also something to be noted... Ahmad will be going in on 12 Sept.... And Gor is going for attachment in sept and going for 2 weeks...
although i have not been speaking to him for quite some time but when he tell me that he is going for attachment in Hong Kong i jus suddenly feel that i will miss him when he is there.

Jus suddenly feel very sian...
don noe wad to do
SIANZ...

Shall end here first

L-Lifeless O-Ordinary V-Vacant E-Earthling

2008-07-23T01:38:00.003+08:00

A sudden surge of sadness just filled me. I just felt like crying now. Why? I told myself not to think about it anymore but i cannot bring myself to do it. This is seriously causing me to lose concentration with school work and lesson. Who can i talk to? Who will be by my side and offer me their shoulder when i cry? Who will be there to comfort me?

I am trying very hard not to act on impulse. I don noe how long i can control before i will ring him up and just tell him the truth.

Ok...As for now it shall be like that i am seriously going to study for laters comm skill test liao...
I spent too much time idling around doing nth and i am going to go back to my old self and challenge myself further inorder to see how far i can go...

What I heard...

2008-07-22T01:25:00.002+08:00

ok la... as u see on the title... (What I heard) ...Ok ...it is refering to the show that i watched ytd on channel 8 the Beach Ball Babe. Like wad the guy in the show said. Love is like doing mathematics. If u are heading the wrong way in love life... It is like using the wrong equation in a maths question and u will nv get the right answer or even worse...NO ANSWER...

After hearing this, i laughed to myself... Although i hate doing maths but wad that guy said was exactly true... I have to agree with it... If u use the wrong method or heading the wrong direction u will nv get the answer like for example solving a maths question when u use the wrong formula and u can not get the right answer no matter how hard u try...

NVM... Shall have another post and say another thing which happen to me on sunday(20 july 2008)

Feelings right now...

2008-06-24T22:50:00.002+08:00

It is a feeling that i have for quite some time. Is jus that i don noe how to put it into words. Brought it up to ahmad but don noe how to put it into words. But is it due to that i am guilty that i have not done enough again ? The word that i used was dominating but dominating hu and wad i cannot use an exact occasion or word to put it through to the others. Or is it really his fault that he don noe when to step aside and let us step up? Or am i too laid back and doing not enough???

having a test tmr but i have yet to study. wad am i doing now? I jus felt like crying again jus now when i was talking to ahmad at the bus stop is the exact feeling upon how i felt at sembawang park coming back again?i have no idea how i am going to organise my thoughts right now feel lost and bewildered. ahmad tried to help but he also cannot help any longer as he is going to tekong soon. how long more can he be there to support the unit up again?

He once regretted that he had not done enough when he was an NCO and now he is back to complete the things that he have left out when he pass out. I think we all noe that he had already done far more than he need to do due to Liquan asking him to take care of chi peng but i jus felt like he is the only one there who i can talk to when the unit is in trouble. But i guess i have no one to turn to when he goes to tekong for NS. I cannot be so reliable on others. As a CI i should be independant. But i cannot bear to remind myself that i am already a CI . What is there that is hindering me from carrying on or am i jus to laid back?

Shall jus end here and blog again mayb tmr when i noe how to organise my thoughts and how to put my feelings into words.